Every time I get into a car or a bus I want to get into a car accident. I want to get beat up by someone. I want to get hurt. I always have these thoughts. I have no idea why. At first I thought it was because I wanted attention, but in actuality I just want to get hurt. But the thing is I don't really feel suicidal when I think these thoughts. I just want it to happen. Maybe I want people to feel bad for me or something? I hate being treated specially though... Argg I'm so confused. Does this happen to anyone else? I suffer with on and off major suicidal thoughts, depression, thoughts of cutting, although I never had-and probably won't cut. Could this be related? To my want to be hurt thoughts?
On some level I know how you feel. I do get the same(ish) feeling. For example, if I look at a knife and focous on the sharp edge I will think about it cuttin through me, skin muscle ect. I have never had serrious scuicidal thoughts or any deppression that I know of(I have had bouts of saddness but thats about it and I dont think thats me having deppression) but I do sometimes think when in a car or bus like you said, what jf this car crashes? What willl I do? But I think thats more my ego thinking I would be amazing in that situation than me wanting to self harm. If you ever want to talk about it just message me. Im still new to EC but im sure I will figure it out.
