I've been struggling really badly lately with my parents.. They've both agreed to come with me into a family therapy session. I'm REALLY afraid. Just a few days ago my mom was totally packed ready-to-go and walk out on my family.. She screaming at everybody and throwing things. Than about 2-3 days she just stopped and started acting like this happy-go-lucky person with lots of love/excitement. She's NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER this way! She's always extremely upset about something and you can tell by the way she "smiles" it's forced. This started the same day my parents agreed to go with me.. It was going to be this Wednesday but due to my dads work schedule they can't make it. So I'll be going in alone to see my therapist. When my mom heard this Wednesday won't do she asked me to see if I can reschedule my next appointment with my therapist as soon as possible.... Shes gone absolutely insane in a blissful acting yet obviously irradiated way. And seems mighty eager to get to that family session... Knowing my mom and hows things are going, shes obviously getting ready to really go all out on me at this session.. She went from refusing to come with me to see my therapist to trying to rush it! I'm so scared I've actually started writting down my "answers" to all the complaints I believe shes going to throw at me.. I've also decided (And maybe this is a STUPID idea) I'm going to confront her with threatening to just walk out on our family (I have 3 very young siblings who need a mom) is absolutely crazy. I really want to get that point across to her. I believe she's going to try to tell me "I'm the best mom ever, it's not my fault you're a bad son." Not like that obviously but generally speaking that's how shes been acting and I believe the reason shes been acting so overly kindly lately is so that in the session she can be like "Just yesterday I was baking everybody brownies," "I told you I loved you so very much last night" and etc. So I can't deny it making her appear to look fantastic in front the therapist so he thinks I've been lying to him and or am way over emotional. This post is long and doesn't make much sense.... But I'm laying awake at night in fear over this session and just wanted to let it out somewhere..
Hey Guff, I think it's totally understandable that you're scared about this completely unusual behavior by your Mom. This sudden change in behavior almost sounds manic. However, I'd say that it is a GOOD thing that she is finally agreeing to go to a therapy session with you. Do you think your Dad convinced her to do so? Simply confronting your Mom probably won't be too productive, but there is no reason that you can't explain your perceptions of her actions on you and how that makes you feel. I would say that if you can simply point out the same completely reasonable things that you said to your parents when they confronted you last week, that your therapist will see through her false front. I would say that, if things get wonky at some point and it looks like the therapist isn't recognizing her irrational behavior, perhaps explain to the therapist how she has never agreed to go to therapy with your before, even though you've specifically asked her on many occasions and she always said that it was a waste of her time (or whatever her excuses were) and you wonder why she has suddenly changed to now being outwardly supportive and enthusiastic of a family counseling session. I would also say that you may want to be prepared that if you Mom gets mad at the therapist and walks out, to see if you can keep your Dad there and see if the therapist can help you at least get some common understanding with your Dad that it is really your mom's irrational behavior that is the root of the problem and that blaming you for her actions makes you feel unloved and totally unaccepted... Or things to that effect. Will you have a session with your therapist by yourself before the family session? If so, the might be a good opportunity to make sure that the therapist is aware of your views on your mom's erratic and abusive behavior over all of these years. Just some thoughts, my friend!
