Hi all, Thanks to this site I have managed to come out to most of my friends but not my parents yet, they will be ok with it but I don't think that its the right time at the moment. I know long posts are time consuming so I will do everyone a favour and post a small summary at the bottom of the page but if you want some amazing story telling then feel free to read it all. I just want to know what after coming out to most of my friends next? I want to try to make more LGBT friends but I'm not sure how. I have looked on my college website but they don't have a group/ any events as its not that big of an issue being LGBT where I live as people just accept it. I am more of a hermit than anything and can make friends on the internet really easily but when it comes to real life if I'm around people I don't know then I get nervous and awkward.( This only happens around people my own age I have not already met after the first few times I can just be myself ) I may just need to be more confident and not care what people think but that's another thing I need to work on. One of the people in my maths class has invited me to her 18th birthday party on Friday and I think I may go but I'm not sure, we get along great but I wont know anyone there and we don't really interact outside of the 5 hours a week we sit next to each other but I should be fine I think. I will point out she is resitting her AS level so she is behind 1 year which is why she is 18 and I'm 16. So this is my main question, do I go out of my way to mention I am gay, just slip it into conversation or not say at all. I feel like if I don't I will miss out on an opportunity to meet new people but it may make it awkward and I don't know how they will react to it, they may be homophobic or a raging homosexual themselves. I could just ask her about the people going I suppose. Not related to this but still slightly relevant- I came out to the various people I have met on the internet and most of the people i know in real life and they are all really supportive. I still have not told my parents as I don't want them to obsess over it and worry that I don't know other LGBT people so a reasonably large group of friends would be well appreciated so that they don't worry. Also I feel like they would get far to involved in my life and they are already really nosy(Every time my mam comes into my room she stares at my computer screen to see what I'm doing but I have developed a reaction to close everything instantly because of this) I'm sure they have my best interests at heart but it would just make everything more difficult. Any advice would be well appreciated. 1)Don't know what to do after coming out 2)No LGBT clubs at my college 3)More of an internet hermit than a social butterfly 4)Invited to a birthday party and don't know how to handle meeting mew people Thanks for reading.
So, thoughts below... Live your life as a gay man. You have a lot of living yet to do, after all. From time to time you may want/need to come out to additional people when/where it seems appropriate. But beyond that, there are lots of things to do. Engage in what interests you, find new interests, meet new people, travel (if you want to), etc. Would there be a LGBT community center in the area? Or a sports team of some kind? Does Meetup.com operate in your part of the world? You might also need to wait until you are ready to leave home and plan to move somewhere where there is a larger and more active LGBT community. This might mainly be a matter of you forcing yourself to go out and do things off the internet. Maybe join one or more clubs that either fit your interests or that you might think you could become interested in. Hiking? Biking? Something else? You might also consider volunteering somewhere. I would suggest going as it has the potential of moving your other goals forward. As far as your question about whether your should come out to people at the party. I would say 'only if it seems relevant to the situation or conversation at the time'. While I understand that you want to meet more LGBT people, simply telling everyone in sight that you're gay, particularly when it seems to be just coming out of the blue for now reason, isn't likely to be the most effective or efficient approach. If it seems relevant - for example, someone asks you if you have a girlfriend or the like - and safe to do so, then go for it. If it doesn't seem relevant, then don't. Ultimately, you have to read the situation and go with what feels best. Hope this helps, Todd
I feel you. I live in a rural area with a population around 4,000 people. There are barely any LGBT people where I live and no support groups. I don't have a car to actually go to a LGBT group out of my small town. I barely leave my room unless I have to work; I haven't left my room in 3 days.
Thanks for all the advice, Ive checked things like meetup and mesmac but there is not much in my area. I may just need to be more outgoing and talk to more people and just try and make new friends and not focous on lgbt people. Thabks again.
