please please please help

I'm desperately seeking help. Please, please someone offer some advice.

This post relates to my girlfriend. We have been together for about a year and have had the most wonderful relationship. I love her so much and its by far the best relationship either of us has ever had. We talked about children and marriage, never argue, and have had the most laughs and best time i could ever have imagined. Our sex life is fantastic and continues to be so.

We have both been living in a foreign city and planned to move together back to the UK as our time in this city was naturally winding down. We started applying for jobs together and were excited about the future. At the start of february my girlfriend had a massive panic attack on the way to work. That evening she admitted to me that during her life she has had off and on intrusive thoughts about being homosexual. It shook me to my core and has caused my no end of suffering since.

The first few days were terrible. She went into depression and drifted from me. I stuck by her and she came closer again, and our relationship truly got back to where it was before. We never stopped having great sex throughout the whole episode.

She says she first had these thoughts when she was 17. She went into a private crisis but eventually the thoughts went dormant. They have surfaced a couple of times in the interveneing period. She has admtted that when she broke up with her ex (male) she set her ****** profile to women and men.

Then she met me. She said that before me sex had been not very ssatisfying, but she had sexual encounters with a handful of men. Now recently i moved back to the UK but she remained abroad to try and work things out. She wanted space. As soon as i left she contacted me straight away, saying she had made a mistake and she misses me. The only time she feels ok is when she talks to me and is with me. We have coninued to have "cyber sex". She has been completely honest with and maintains she has never been attracted to a woman, has gone to gay clubs with the intention of attempting to kiss or pull a girl, but when she is there she never feels compelled to do it and starts noticing good looking men instead. She describes the situation as a voice in her head telling her she is gay but wont admit it, or that the voices tell her that she should try it and "what if" you are gay etc. She maintains that she loves me (which its clear to see she does), finds me sexually sttractive, and has only ever had crushes on men.

Tonight she slipped back to the point of depression she was in at the start of february: she watched a film with a female lead and the voices said "what if you fancy her but you wont admit it to yourself".

Rather than space she is now saying she just misses me and wants to go through with plans to move together, but is scared stiff in case she is gay and she damages me further in the process.

Im deeply in love with this woman and we continue to have the most amazing sexually satisfying relationship. In my last weeks in the city before moving awaz we continued to spend time togehter (about 6-7 days a week as we had done during the relationship) and every day was still beautiful, fun, intimate, loving and caring like a normal incredibly well matched heterosexual couple.

She has recently started therapy with an identity/sexuality specialist who thinks that the thoughts are linked to a fear of letting people down, anxiety, stress, and a need to try and control the future and a fear of things not working out. I suspect the therapist doubts that she is homosexual as she has said she talks at length about me in her sessions and how wonderful everything is and how happy she is with me.

I'm not sleeping, cant eat, the whole thing is simly destroying me as i love her and care about her so much. Obviously, she is also in a terrible state. For about nine months the issue never raised its head so i was blown away once it did. Even since her panic attack we can go for maybe a week at a time when it isnt an issue.

Can anyone please offer some advice? She is very open to me making these sort of reach outs for help, and i have been in contact with her best friend for support who also knows about these ongoing issues.

I think i will refer my girlfriend to these pages so she can maybe seek some confidential and private guidance. But in the meant time im begging for someone to help who can maybe offer some insight. I always tell her to be honest and if she is gay then for her and her life its absolutely fine. It'll be painful for both of us (me in particular) in the short term, but if she is gay then its absolutely fine, and i love her no matter what and will support her. But she still maintains she isnt attracted to women and is only interested in being with me. She says she stills dreams of living with me and having a family.

Please help!! Does this sound like a familiar coming out story, or is it possible she is bi with a preference for men, or could it really be connected to other mental issues? I'll provide more information if it should be necessary to illicit repsonses.

This is a genuine and sincere cry for help on my part. I dont know where to turn. None of the information ive shared here will in anyway compromise her confidentiality. I'm trying to be caring, understanding, and am looking for help.

Thank you all in advance. Thank you so much.