Only the Lonely

I don't have any advice. But I feel very much the same. I find it hard putting myself out there to meet anyone & open myself up to being hurt or rejected. Sorry I wasn't more helpful, but I hope you know you aren't alone in feeling that way.

 

I feel the same way. I've been so miserable and depressed for a long time. I just have no one to talk to, no one to hang out with. And with my social anxieties, Aspergers and my all around personality I guess it's impossible for me to activly go out and meet people. That and several years of bullying since the 2nd grade my trust issues for others are also a factor. My only option to interact in a way I feel comfortable is on the internet. I only have like 2 real life friends still in my city, and one is too busy in her 'oh my boyfriend is my universe and i cant possibly function in society without talking to him' land to even try to contact me to hang out. And the other is busy with her life and work, but at least she tries more than the other one.

I learned a long time ago that no one cares, no one will care, so don't bother trying to reach out, no one will listen or care. And so far, I haven't been proven wrong yet. I'm so used to rejection it's basicaly just standard response from me, I don't really expect anything else from anyone anymore. I'm independant too, but I'm also a human being and I think I deserve to have friends once in a while right? My other friends are all online and in the US. I'd kill to go down to a con and hang out with them, but passports, traveling as Trans and going to a country which is lets face it, lossing its shit, scares me.

I'm sorry you're going through the same thing. Being alone SUCKS. It sucks so hard. I know it does. You don't deserve to be alone. I hope one day you can find people who will be lucky enough to be your friends. (*hug*)

 

You guys ! I really want to hang out with yall and just listen to music or play video games or something not to socially demanding. Even though I am easy going, I am a strange cookie. And I want to be in the strange cookie jar. Just feel a bit lonely. And no desire for shallow .... encounters...not to sound arrogant. I am a loner, but I can be very social. So people get hurt because I withdraw. And I end up withdrawing completely. lol..feel tired to type...but just wanted to let you know.

Wish I had a lesbian friend to, to talk to. Would feel nice.

This is horribly described, like I said..tired..bit exhausted mentally and all..just..

But there is this gnawing feeling that I am missing something , is it from Empty Closets? is it somewhere else?

There is something going on inside me...

oh well...time to make some tea..or something. Or not.. I dunno

 

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I'm sorry we are in the same boat, and you have had such hardships. Thank you though for your kind words. I hope you find someone, too.

Too bad we can't meet at a con. LOL. That would rock.[/QUOTE]

I would love to go to a con. I wanna meet Rob Paulsen and my friends and go in cosplay and be amoung my people in the nerd realm ^^ Would love to meet up with ya too that would indeed rock.

 

I'm in in pretty much the same boat. Can't trust anybody, hate getting close for fear of rejection. I don't actually know how to keep a friendship going, how bad is that? Add in my shitty health probs and well you have a socially awkward loner who nobody wants to know.

 

I've felt that way long ago. The first step is to realise that you have a problem, which is something that you've done. Congrats!

I have some good news. It is possible to change the shyness and introversion into extroversion. I know it because I'm still working on that and I'm getting results. You can't imagine how shy I was as a kid (and also as a grown-up).

Maybe, the best idea would talk to a good psychologist that could give you some tips. That's what I have done.

From my personal experience, I can say that there are problems that seem bigger from our own perspective. In my case, I used to be so anxious and scared in social situations and I didn't get good results.

Someday, not so long ago, I felt that maybe I was creating a false image of reality and that things could be much easier than they seemed. As I said, I'm still working on that and have ups and lows, but I'm starting to know myself and to accept that I'm a human being that has the right to make their own mistakes.

At the beginning it probably will be difficult but it's a good idea to imagine yourself facing those situations and getting a good result. That could help you to get more confidence in yourself.

And it's not necessary to be scared or anxious. You have the right to make your own mistakes. That's the best way of learning.

Hugs (*hug*)

 

It ain't easy at the beginning because people like us are not used to feel comfortable in social situations. But when you talk to people it gets easier and easier.

Some days you will feel that you're doing great and other days you will feel that you're doing wrong. Even in the same day you'll probably think differently depending on the social situations you face.

But the best way to do it, at least for me, is to relax, not think too much about what you've done or what you've not done. The past is in the past. It's only useful if you can learn from it. If it makes you feel bad, what I suggest is to work on the issues of the past. How? There are different ways: talking to people who you trust and you think they could understand you and opening up and (the best one, for me) talking to professionals (e.g. psychologists). But you can use both ways or even find a different one for yourself.

 

I'm with you on this too so you're not alone. I ask friends to lunch or other stuff and sometimes they'll go but then they never initiate the next time. Other times they say maybe next month, but never get back to me with a time that works for them. I text them to say hi and see how they are, but they rarely initiate text to me. I was vulnerable and told them how bored, lonely, want to go out more and dealing with depression and thought they'd care enough to do stuff once in a while, but don't. It must be something about me that repels everyone and no one will tell me what I'm doing wrong.

I hope things start going better for you! Wish I could help you, but I'm at a loss too. Take care!

 

What I have learned from my experience is that some people tend to go away when you are focused on negative things. That's not because they repel you, but because they are also focused on their own problems or maybe they don't know how to help you.

You may not believe me, but I think that everybody can achieve what they really want if they really want that, but again the first steps are the most difficult ones. Once you've walked the first steps, it is going to get easier because you'll have more confidence in yourself. Sometimes, based on my own experience, it might get difficult and you might think that you are doing mistakes; other times you'll see that it is easier than you thought. But if you're decided to go on, you'll start to feel better and you will overcome the ups and lows.

By the way, if you ever want to talk feel free to post on my wall. (*hug*)

 

Ppl suck

 

Why? Fortunately, there are different kinds of people in this world. (&&&)

 

I don't have much advice...but I am in the same boat here at the bottom tip of Africa (South Africa). I wish I could be more outgoing like my sibling but... sigh...

 

Seems like it yeah
:icon_wink
(*hug*)