Hi. So, I'm 16 right now, and feel no motivation to do anything. It feels like I've literally lost all drive, and have no hope for my future. I haven't even washed my hair in weeks because I'm just like. Ugh, what's even the point you know?? I always feel uncomfortable and self-conscious- probably because of my past of being bullied (A LOT). I don't have any friends, and I feel nothing towards my family- I don't see them much anyways, so I'm always alone. I'm not able to leave the house unless it's for school or going out with my mom (I don't live with her). I can't even remember the last time I've had fun or been genuinely happy. I used to be pretty motivated to get my school work done, but now I'm not at all. I used to love drawing 2-3 years ago, now I don't. I get irritated pretty easily now as well. I'm always trying to find a girlfriend to somehow fill some kind of emptiness I have but I feel like I'm too ugly to even find someone. Don't get me wrong, I want things in life- but they seem to only be things that would improve my appearance rather than my well being. I don't talk to anyone about it. Sorry this is kind of a vent...
Don't ever worrying about venting, everyone needs to do it and it makes you feel better. Also, I highly doubt you're ugly. If it's any consolation, I'm going through a similar situation. My depression has taken control so I don't want to do anything, but my anxiety and dysphoria wants me to do everything. My parents aren't accepting so I barely have genuine moments with them, and I'm doing quite bad in school because I don't do homework. I have also pushed all my friends away. I haven't found anything significant that has helped me yet, so the best I can say is hang in there. If you live in America, you have two years before you're a legal adult! That usually comes with a lot of perks for people. Keep hanging in there and whenever you feel really terrible, come here and vent and talk to people, or go to somewhere/someone else you feel safe with. Watch some funny videos, or sleep. Do whatever you can to distract yourself. Also, I always go a while without showering (bc ugh like you said) and then I shower and feel better for a little bit, so maybe try doing that. I'm sorry that there's no clean-cut answers for this kind of thing, but hang in there <3
