Almost a year ago I've came out to my parents and a few friends and since then I've been feeling worse and worse. I want to tell them how I feel but I'm scared of being rejected like I was before. I know for sure that I don't identify with my birth gender but no one have made any effort to accept me and how I feel. My mother has been pulling up an sick act of being depressed while she was clearly disgusted with me and eventually told my grandmother about me. I was forced to tell them that it was "just a phase". And that's how my world started to crumble. Now I am way too aware of how my body is, my dysphoria is killing me and how I'll never be accepted. I'm tired of this whole I'm ok thing. Everytime I try to think about my future I can't just imagine myself being with someone, I always see myself as a lonely person with nobody to talk with and with no life will at all. I've tried to go to a psychologist but he turned out to be a transphobic person so I gave up. I've never talked about this with anyone... I feel like I don't belong anywhere and should be dead form the very begining. I can't get rid of the overflowing fear. I'm lost and don't know what to do, I have only little hope left.
I'm sorry to hear that things are going so rough for you right now *offers a hug* I can understand how having unaccepting parents can feel, and it can get lonely at times. Don't give up hope though things get better in time. You're age says 16 so you've only got to hold out two more years and you'll be a lot more free. I don't know if you're planning on going to college or not, but if you do find one that's LGBT friendly and join a club or group to join. For the short term though it might be rough but you need to just hang in there and try to tough it out. I would say try to find a new professional to talk to. Make sure to find one that specializes in Trans issues so you won't have to worry about them turning out to be Transphobic again.