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How to help my depression?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Naos210, Apr 9, 2017.

  1. Naos210

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    I just don't see how I'm going to get over this. It gets in the way of life. I'll just say various issues.

    My depression is causing me to fail classes, and I may not graduate high school. Assuming I graduate, I have no skills anyway. I've tried at various things, and failed. The only "skills" I have would help nothing. Having a good memory, high intelligence, and an ability to recognize small, minute details, really doesn't make a career. And even if it did, I likely wouldn't enjoy it. I liked performing arts a lot, but gave up awhile ago. I recently thought of being a private detective, but like usual, I'd be made fun of for my prospects, as my favourite fictional character, is a detective. Or maybe a defense lawyer. My less wanted career would be English teacher in a foreign country such as Japan, but... it'd still be embarrassing. Plus, my introverted personality wouldn't work for any of these. People always told me my intelligence would allow me to become a CEO of a major company, or a well-accomplished scientist, but that is not what I wanted for myself. Also, probably a lie. If I was so smart, I would've never ended up in this situation.


    Of course, then I realize why should I even care? I gave up on romantic relationships and children - I've used video games with romantic, sexual, and in general life elements to compensate. I'm either too unattractive physically or personality wise for a relationship to happen - I expect it's looks, and I can't change that. Hell, I wouldn't date me. I'm short at only 5'7'', wavy hair that never looks good no matter what haircut I have and gets greasy easily, I'm like, 20 pounds underweight, I have a stupid girly voice, moderately bad acne, almost everyone else in my area has almost flawless faces. So without anyone to support, and the fact my parents don't mind me staying for a very modest amount, I don't need to bother with a career. Even if I moved out, still no one to support, and I don't put enough value in my life, I just do enough to survive at this point, and to be honest, even the motivation to do that is fading.

    Life is exhausting. I'm never really happy anymore. Video games are the only saving grace I have, but I'm so immersed with my escape from reality, once the immersion is gone, all feelings from that experience never really existed. Friends don't make me happy either, I don't even really have those - I don't think I've ever truly had them. I have better fictional friends than I do actual ones, great...



    TL;DR: I'm an unattractive, short, boy with gender insecurities, depression, and various other problems. I'm never dating anyone, never having children. No friends to speak of. Will never have a career that means anything. Basically, I'm a being who literally serves no purpose, and never will. Unloved and always will be. At best, my purpose will be in cashiering at fast food restaurants and I'll be coasting till I die.

    And I assume the only way is to start guzzling down pills...
     
  2. Simple Thoughts

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    Oh great googily moogily boy you sound just like I did in highschool all the way up until I was somewhere in my early 20's.

    Let me start by saying that you don't have to 'know' exactly what you want to be right away. I don't think anyone does. I made that mistake too. I was watching a lot of "House" and "Scrubs" at the time so I was like "Well clearly I should be a doctor or something" and let me just say that fell apart rather quickly.

    I still struggle all the time with motivation and I don't want to lie to you and say this will be an easy hill to climb. I can tell you though from what you're describing to me that you sound a lot like how I did in so many ways, and still do in so many others.

    My best advice to you is that you should focus on what you enjoy. You said you were experimenting with art, yes? Why were you doing that? Do you like art? Was it fun for you? If so, don' worry about being good or not just do it. Please trust me on this, and just take some time and do it for yourself and not to impress anyone. If you can get into that mindset at your age than you can avoid a lot of my mistakes. You have plenty of time and a full life ahead of you, don't beat yourself up over the fact that you still have things you haven't fully figured out.

    You are at an age where you're supposed to experiment with different career paths. If you feel like the choices other people suggested aren't right for you than they aren't right for you. Never do something to please others. If you want to become a detective than do some research independantly on your own time. Look into law and criminal justice. I'm sure there are plenty of online resources that you can take full advantage of for that. Even if someone else thinks it's stupid that doesn't matter. They aren't the one who will be walking that mile in your shoes, you are and I'd suggest you wear the shoes you feel most comfortable in because a mile is a long walk and if you put on the wrong shoes it's going to hurt.

    *hugs*

    Also don't sweat that physical appearance stuff. Even if your voice is a little feminine and you have acne that's no big deal. Most people grow out of acne once they get a bit older and even if you don't there are treatments for it, as for the voice thing I'd say if it really is a problem for you take some voice acting lessons and learn to deepen your voice a bit, but personally I'd say just learn to be confident in you.

    You'll find plenty of friends in time, trust me. Just follow your interests and people will graviate towards you who share those interests.

    Anyways...I hope this helps
     
  3. Naos210

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    This wasn't something I just decided I wanted to do because I liked it a lot. Yes, I do like the arts, but like I said, I gave up on it. I wanted an actor and singer, primarily doing voice acting. But I quit. My other interests were video games and law. Video games were out of my wheelhouse - I'm not that great with more advanced technology. At best, I'd be a writer. So law was really the only thing which is why I decided on either detective or lawyer. Being a good singer is something of concern when I'm in a choir class and constantly judged. And there's no escaping that class for the rest of the term. I'm pretty much the only one who has pitch issues. And really, I have looked into it. I've even delved into video games surrounding those topics like Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney and Persona. Not the most realistic, but basic concepts still exist there, and I later moved on to more advanced, more specific areas of actual law and criminal justice.

    I know how to lower my voice. Often when reading a book, or playing a game, I will do different voices for the characters. My range extending from baritone to soprano does work for that. But, the thing is, it isn't comfortable to talk in lower ranges for extended periods of time. I already did that for years, and it did not do well on my voice at all. And I found people with similar interests - we don't get along extremely well, and even when we're "friends", I'm always the lesser, expendable one, the final choice if they have no one else. And I'd rather not be that last choice.

    I do appreciate the answer, thank you!
     
  4. Simple Thoughts

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    So you want to be an actor and singer? Specifically voice acting?

    Well here's my advice on that since you stepped into a territory that I can somewhat help you with. First off, nobody is great at anything right away. Do not beat yourself up for not being perfect you still have time to develop and build upon that skill. Secondly, don't worry that you can't sing as technically well as other people in your class. Everyone learns at their own pace and honestly when it comes to singing while you need some degree of technical skill I'd argue that personality is way more important. Just look at Dwayne Johnson in the Moana movie. He's not the best singer ever, but his song is the best song in the entire movie because it just gushes with personality and character.

    My point. Practice, take your time, and learn to have fun with what you're doing instead of being so hard on yourself. It won't be easy, I'm trying to teach myself to draw right now because I want to be an animator and I keep having these breakdown periods where I just totally give up for weeks or months at a time before I can bring myself to try again. It's a struggle, but if you can keep pushing forward no matter how hard it seems.

    Now for my advice regarding voice acting. The first thing I'd suggest is coming up with a good practice routine. I'd say a good starting point would be to do character voices. Maybe watch some voice impersonator videos and try to do voices from already popular characters just to get a feel for doing it. Once you feel confident enough just play around with your voice and try to come up with some original voices. ( Also look up Arin hanson a.k.a. Egoraptor he's an animator/voice actor and I've always found him to be very motivational for me personally.)

    Once you feel more confident in that try getting in contact with smaller animation channels on Newgrounds and Youtube. tell them you're an aspiring voice actor and you'd like to lend your voice to their works. I've heard the community at Newgrounds especially can be pretty supportive for creators and creative types so I'm sure they'd offer plenty of tips, advice, and even let you lend your voice to some of their animated works which would help you build up enough credentials to do a demo reel which you'd need to break into the voice acting industry.


    I know you aren't going to like me saying this, but you sound so much like me I have to say it. I think you're overreacting about your friends. I feel that way about my friends all the time like they don't care or that I'm no really important to them. It's not true, it's all in your head and it's just your self-doubt taking the wheel and steering for you.
     
  5. Naos210

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    Well, like I said... I gave up on all of that performing arts stuff. For several reasons. For one, despite my interest in the arts, I am a terrible creativity person. I'm more for cognitive thinking. And yes, Dwayne Johnson's vocals have personality and charisma, but I don't. Outside of range, I got nothing there. Tone? Often not great. Breath support? Bad. And I don't even sound that good in the far upper notes.

    Plus, because I lack a sense of purpose, I prefer my aspirations to be a detective or defense lawyer. I can really help people that way. Those who often can't help themselves. I like the fact you're trying to help on the voice acting front, however, I think my motivation for that is far too low. I've quit on that since... hell, 2012? And as such, it's probably easier to get it out of the way now than try focusing on it only to quit again later.

    On the matter of friends, I really doubt it's self-illusion. I'm talked to the least, no one ever seems to care to interact with me, hang out with me. I always have to go bother them. And with some people, I eventually get a sense of hostility and/or annoyance to the point where I just think... why bother?
     
  6. Simple Thoughts

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    Well let me just ask you this. Did you give up because you lost interest, or because you lost confidence?

    As for the detective/lawyer thing, I have two things to say. First, if that's what you really wanna do then do it. Don't let anyone hold you back and pursue it to the fullest and use your free time to do independent research and study hard. Secondly, if what you want is to help people you can do that through almost any line of work even if it doesn't seem that way. The Arts help people through tough times and keep us all connected emotionally to one another, Detective and lawyer work is what keeps us all safe and protected in a world with bad actors. Doctors keep people healthy and breathing. Bartenders tend to have a knack for listening to people's problems and sometimes even offering advice. With any career path, a truly committed and invested person can do a lot of good so make sure that you know exactly what you want and you'll find yourself in a position to help others. :slight_smile:


    On the matter of friends...I'm telling you it's all in your head. I know because I've felt the exact same way. I know the feeling all too well. I still feel it all the time. I always feel like nobody cares or nobody is interested in me, and sometimes I even get really lonely and feel toally isolated from everyone...please believe me when I tell you that it's not as bad as it feels like it is.
     
  7. Naos210

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    Both, really. I realized it wasn't realistic, and even voice actors tend to have fanbases, which is something I'd rather not deal with.

    I prefer a more direct method of helping people. Actors don't really get direct recognition for helping people - in fact, they're some of the most hated people on the planet.

    And... believe me. After a friend of three years decides to slander me and said she was my friend to be nice... basically out a pity... you start to question your other friends, especially since the relationships with them are quite similar.
     
  8. Simple Thoughts

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    That's fair enough. Not everyone does well with followers. If you ever change your mind and want to try again though feel free to message me. =)

    So you want to be recognized for helping people? If that's the case you should reconsider police work or being a lawyer. People loathe lawyers and people loathe the police too. If you're looking for recognition for helping people something like social work would be better.

    Oh I'm sorry you had a friend like that. There are some truly awful people in the world, but that doesn't mean you can't trust anyone. I remember my brother and his friends used to write fake love letters to me just to mess with me and I had trouble for the longest time believing that anyone's interest in me was real. =/

    Don't worry too much, just be yourself and you'll find great friends. Maybe it'll take time, but you'll get there. It just feels hopless right now because your depression is running the show and it's hard to believe in anything good when you have a dark cloud hanging over your head all the time.
     
  9. Naos210

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    I know people loathe those occupations, but on a far less scale. And it's far easier to get into those occupations, and be successful, than in the entertainment industry. The problem with social work, is you're a lot more social. Law work provides a middle ground. Not too much social interaction. Sure, there's some, but not a ton.

    But thanks for the responses. They've been helpful. And I'm sorry you had to deal with that stuff. Must've been terrible.
     
  10. Simple Thoughts

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    You seem pretty committed to the idea and if that's the case focus your energy into being what you want to be. :slight_smile:

    I hope my responses were helpful. You seem like a great person.