Ranting

Okay, so this is just a general post get things off my chest post. I am gay. I've known for about 5-6 years maybe. I live in a really regressive place where it's not only scorned upon but also illegal. The biggest irony is that male bestfriends always call themselves a gay couple and its celebrated as a mark of familiarity and closeness. However for someone who is actually gay and in a relationship they'd probably get treated worse than dogs. So for a while i kept telling myself that i can become straight at the age of 26-27 and marry a girl. But then about six months back i discovered this artist called Troye Sivan who was unapologetically gay. That made my accept myself and come to terms with what i am. And i even fell in love, albeit with a straight guy. I was still proud that i had stopped denying that part of myself.
Anyways recently after a drunken night i came out to my best friend unintentionally. Unexpectedly she ended up having a positive reaction and immediately came to terms with it. And for that i am ever grateful for she has been my rock since then.
Again about two days back i came to another best friend of mine. However this time it being a guy i had to really beat around the bush. It did take some time but he eventually guessed it and was extremely supportive with the help of my girl best friend too. Even as i was trying to tell them i really couldn't control the tears and they flowed down profusely. Even as i'm typing this i'm trying not to cry.
So, being in the regressive place that i am with relatives who would literally rather see me dead than gay their positive reactions have been a ray of sunshine and has given me immense happiness that at least two people aren't disgusted with me, even though i myself am at times.
This has made me come out of my depressed state. Can't really call it depression cause i wasn't diagnosed but life was always dull and lackluster and i didn't really see a point to anything.
So i have reached the stage where i can proudly say that i am gay. At least to my self and two other people. I definitely haven't reached the point where i can come out to my parents, relatives or my other friends but i am working on it.
Moving on with my life, i have decided to live in a place where my sexuality is accepted and not thought of a disease, like something to be treated. I have decided to do a buisness degree in Canada and hopefully settle there and maybe even meet a guy (cant believe i even typed that). Life has definitely gotten better for me and i hope "it gets better".