Hey guys, I'll try to keep it short. I met this amazing woman at work 3 years ago, and have had feelings for her ever since. I've never felt this way for someone else. It's intoxicating and it makes me miserable, because there's no chance for us. Now, she's moved overseas but we keep in touch on FB. Nothing regular, just the "how are things?" every now and then (months apart). I know I need to move on but I cannot, for the life of me, imagine a day when I won't feel this way about her anymore. Since she's moved, she's met someone. She's posted about it and it broke me. I thought the distance would help, but no. Now I need someone to give me honest advice about this. My family are too nice, they don't want to hurt me. Should I keep in touch or remove her completely? She never initiates contact, and the waiting and wondering is driving me nuts. Also she's older than me. Any advice is appreciated. Cheers
Hi, I understand the difficult time you must be going through. Unfortunately now that she is with someone it will be better for you to break contact with her for a while, until you don't feel as hurt. Is she with another girl or a boy now? From what you said, it doesn't look as if you've had too good relations. You should try to occupy your mind with other things, like a new hobby, it helps to get over the pain (it worked for me once). Sorry that you have to go through this, I hope it works out well for you. Take care!
First, take a hug (*hug*) I'm going to second RedTrekkie's opinion here. It sounds like she's just not interested, which is obviously sad, but something you need to accept. If you don't feel ready to date other people yet, that's fine! You don't have to. But try to introduce new things into your life, at least. Hobbies, new friends, all that. Also, if you have any things of hers- gifts, pictures, stuff like that- maybe put them in a box and store them somewhere else. Being surrounded by evidence of her existence will not help you to get her out of your mind. Maybe also don't check her social media frequently, or at all. Don't contact her, that's only to make it worse. Should she contact you with a routine question like 'how are you?', keep things affable and friendly, but short- there's no need to ignore her, that would be rude, but don't draw things out and trick yourself into thinking there's something there that probably doesn't exist. Best of luck(*hug*)
A similar thing happened to me about two years ago, I developed really strong feelings for my best female friend and eventually I told her about it, but she didn't feel the same way, and we never got together. We pretty much stopped talking after that, and she later moved away. It broke my heart, and I still think about her a lot. It feels harder almost because you can't properly call it a "breakup" and for me, there isn't that finality/closure of a breakup, nor any fond memories of being together to look back on. No helpful advice really, just saying hi to another person in the same spot!
Hi everyone Sorry for the late reply. Haven't felt like talking to anyone lately. Thank you, all of you. I agree and I know what you say about keeping my distance and staying busy, is true. Easier said than done thought. Many People go thru similar stuff.I'm trying to get some perspective and let time do it's thing. Like they say, "out of sight, out of mind", right? Really appreciate you taking the time to give some advice. Hugs everyone, take care. PS: RedTrekkie95 - She's dating a guy.
