How do you find someone gay to date or hang out with without putting it on a social app? I just feel like ppl would see my picture and reckonize me. BTW no gay bars or clubs anywhere close to me. And I'm still in the closet Cept to two of my friends. I'm just tired of never having been with anyone. I need a relationship.
Been where you are for around 4 years now... I get not having the bars or clubs near you. No resources were available to me in high school, and as I still live in the same town, not much has changed. There are dating sites that do not overlap with major social networking platforms, and will keep your info confidential. Though closeted in my every day life, I'm VERY out on social media, and use a combination of initials and other names for my account name, as well as random pictures that don't have any identifying details. You can use social media to join LGBT groups and meet people that way. Personally, in my limited experience, I have found "LGBT dating sites" (you can find the two I use and many others by searching this or "gay dating sites") to not be worth it.
Generally, the people who are going to see your picture on a dating app are the ones in your dating pool. It's a catch-22, but if you are too afraid to show your face there, then you're going to have a hard time going out on a date in public. Moreover, if you think in terms of "needing" a relationship, you may get desperate and enter into an unhealthy situation.
I understand the difficulty of your situation as well. There's one additional piece you may not have considered: If you're so closeted you're worried about someone recognizing you on an app for gay men looking for other gay men... it's going to be very difficult to find someone. If you find someone closeted, I suppose that could be ideal, but you'll both constantly be sneaking around and jumping about in fear of your shadows, which doesn't make for a very appealing relatioship for either of you. Anyone who is out is most likely not going to be very excited about dating someone who is closeted (not if they're emotionally healthy, that is). Dating someone closeted requires going back into the closet yourself, as your partner won't allow any sort of public displays, probably won't want to go to public events together, and a host of other problems. What I'm saying here is... if at all possible, you might want to consider putting your energy into getting to a place where you can be open with those around you *first*, and you'll find that you're able to attract much healthier people that way, not to mention being a whole lot happier yourself.
It's not so much that I need a relationship. It's more that I got what I thought was pretty close to having one in the past. Cuddling and rubbin up on each other an stuf,but it went downhill after I came out to him. Haven'teven came close since. THAT guy happened to be my best friend so I didn't have to do any searching. I still ain't completely over that either. I'VE been trying real hard tho. I just miss the feeling of bein that close to someone I truly trust and care for.
i would say to try and see if there are any local groups or meetups for LGBT folk in your area. even in small areas, they'll have a group or some hangouts. at those kinds of places, there are generally rules set for confidentiality if you're worried about that. unfortunately, a lot of them do figure things out on Facebook, but most LGBT facebook groups are closed so nobody would know you're in them. there are quite a few for my area. even the town/ county/ region over might have something going on. once you know one person or a few people you could get acquainted with more and probably find dates that way. hope this helps somewhat!
What if you're stuck with family who would make it all awkward or uncomfortable if you brought your boyfriend or date around? Asking for a friend
