Why someone become attracted to someone who hurt them

Could you expand on that Shasta?

 

I think it's because when people find a connection to another person, it is hard to let go of that connection. That's my guess.

 

I rarely get attracted to someone, so when I find someone attractive I instantly get mentally and emotionally attached to them after I get to know them for some time. Because of this, when certain faults appear in the person, such as them hurting me, the emotional bond is so strong that I find it difficult to accept these negative signs and focus more on the few positive aspects that remain in that bond. This in turn creates a bad relationship based on lust and infatuation, which is very difficult to dissolve. (But that's just the way I see it)

Hope this helps

 

I believe the connection comes from low self esteem. You find people who are immune to being treated badly by their partners and yet tend to hang on to that broken relationship due to the fact of developing a co-dependency towards the other individual as well. I witnessed this type of situation first hand. I had a friend who was really popular with the guys at the clubs and he welcomed the attention to say the least. Anyway, he was involved with this guy who was very much aware of this guy's sleeping around with other guys. In fact, I even witnessed him having sex with other guys right in front of not only myself but the boyfriend also. I could not wrap my head around the fact the while he was having sex with someone else...the boyfriend would just sit there hurt and with tears rolling down his face. I took him away for a drink and preceded to talk to him about why he stuck around? With all the advice that I shared with him...the next day...he would be cooking dinner for this guy and cuddling with him afterwards. I even knew this couple whose relationship was no doubt crumbling and yet one guy did not want to let go and move on. I can recall him approaching me several times about his partner having a crush on me and would I consider having sex with them because if I did it would mean him getting some sexual attention from his boyfriend which was also non existent as well. With all of that being said...there are people whose behavior patterns comes from watching their parents' relationships or stemming from being subjected and ridiculed as a child and growing up not knowing their worth in life which develops in them believing they are not deserving of having an ideal connection with a boyfriend.