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I don't know how I can change my life and be more independent.

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Ramlethal, Apr 25, 2017.

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  1. Ramlethal

    Ramlethal
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Florida
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    My life is a mess and if it wasn't my anti LGBT family , I would have no place to go and honestly as painful as it is to be around them , If I ended up in shelter I know my depression would spiral downhill.

    I am no good at talking to people and have bad anxiety in general.

    Another problem is lack of a success , I don't have much of a talent , academics isn't something that I excel at and working a job is suffering. Talking to people is impossible , rembembering a bunch of tasks is impossible , being in unfamiliar makes my head spin and I always succumb to breaking down.

    Being like this colossal failure sucks and I know that my self esteem is non existentant pretty much. I am endlessly depressed about it.

    What's worse is that I am also depressed because of gender issues that I put off till I can handle my current life situation but its painful to and I don't know how I will ever be able to deal with it.

    If I uttered the words , "I am trans" to family then at that point I will have no family whatsoever.*

    I've already had painful childhood experience with them and being called names. Their feelings towards trans people is at the their worst now.

    Being in the best place possible and financial stable would be the best way to be able to do whatever I wish for myself and for other people to no longer be a factor but it hasn't been route in my grasp.

    It seems like jumping off a cliff is easiet way to resolve my problems. ;/

    Life is going nowhere at all.
     
    #1 Ramlethal, Apr 25, 2017
  2. Dryad

    Dryad
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    First of all, you are not a "colossal failure". Most people don't excell in academics or have a very "special talent", but we all have worth. As for the jobs, I don't know how old are you, what jobs you're looking into or if you have a mental health condition that causes your struggles... Maybe you can look into something more quiet, like, I don't know, taking care of people's pets and walking their dogs, selling hand-made stuff online, or some quiet office work in a library. Maybe your school has some position for part-time work if you're a student. Every job has an awkward period of learning the tasks, but it will be fine in the end. :slight_smile: On the other hand, if you have an anxiety disorder or depression, you should seek professional help, which as I read in another thread of yours, you already did. Are you still having therapy?
    And an irrelevant question: Do you have things that you love? Some kind of art, maybe videogames or watching movies?
     
    #2 Dryad, Apr 25, 2017
  3. Ramlethal

    Ramlethal
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Yes I am still with therapy and there is nothing that I really like unfortunately to answer the other question.

    I don't know what I am capable of doing. ;( I am not a student at this point in life.
     
    #3 Ramlethal, Apr 25, 2017
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