Just wondering if any one has gone out to a gay night at a pub or club, found it really awkward, but stuck with it and found that it got better. I'm not the most social person but I want to make some lesbian and bi (female) friends. I joined Meetup and went to a couple of groups but I just haven't wanted to go back. They're not bad people, I just didn't click with them at ALL. The people I've become friends with in my life, I tended to click with them from prety much the first few minutes. It's an intuition I've learnt to trust. So, I got a membership for an online dating/friendship site, but I find it hard to tell if I like people from online chit chat. I have a couple of gay/bi aquaintances, but I don't know them well enough to ask them to go to a bar with me. I only have a few close (straight) friends but, when I came out, I found that I had the opportunity to no longer look like the single spinster, but to (at least) suggest that I have a love life they don't know about. Okay, this is sounding stupid even as I type it. But maybe someone out there knows what I mean?? My love life has been pretty dead, but I'd like to go out and meet people. But I've been out by myself a couple of times and it reeeally was awkward. Both times, I lasted 20 or 30 minutes and left. I'm a little backwards about coming forward. For one thing, I'm an introvert and my small talk skills are next to non-existent. But also, I'm not hot, I'm currently unemployed due to a health condition, and I live with a parent despite being in my 30s. But this situation isn't going to change for a couple of years and I don't want to put off my life till then. Has anyone perservered with the solo nights out despite an awkward start? I really do prefer meeting people in person to get a read on them.
Gong out with them IS how you get close and get to know other people. If these are the people who you like, but you just happen to not be that close, then start asking them to hang out with you. Call them to see if they want to catch up over lunch or just straight up say that you want to go out to a club and to see if they want to join you Do you have a reason why? If you have a reason then searching for the right group gets easier. For me, I really enjoy volunteer groups and nerd groups, so for me I specifically look for lgbt people in those spaces or lgbt nerd spaces.
It may only take one person that you click with which may lead to meeting others that you also click with. Commonality with one person also leads to commonality with others that such initial person may know. As Smurf suggests, try and find a group that aligns with your interests. Where Smurf likes nerd groups, I like geek groups! [ Hmm, is there a difference ] Trying to meet people in bars works more so for casual hook ups than for trying to meet new friends socially; although, that's not to say it can not happen. In London, as you have done I first tried going to bars to meet people but I have found that to be a difficult place to make new friends; whereas in my hometown in South Florida, I have found people are actually more open to making new friends in bars. Whatever your hobbies are or real extracurricular interest are, I would guess there would be an LGBT oriented group in Sydney that you can get involved with. Whether it be geeky groups like gaymers, photographers or computers; athletic leagues focused on running, tennis, golf, swimming; or other activities relating to fashion, painting, book reviews and even dining out. Write a list of what your interests are, take that list and google it adding LGBT or each activity. See what comes up. Good Luck!
