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Old 30th Apr 2017, 08:00 PM   #1
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People think i'm straight. How do i look "gayer"

okay so I know for some people this sounds like I have it easy or whatever, but I don't want people to think i'm straight. I'm quite feminine I guess and I just wanted to know if anyone had any tips on how to subtly let people know i'm bi without announcing it.
For example, I know this girl who's gay but she looks like a stereotypical lesbian (short hair, snapbacks etc) so everyone just knows
I just like makeup and skirts and people just don't know I like girls. Also, my outfits are pretty much all dark colours so it's not like i'm gonna start wearing rainbow shirts or anything.
Mainly just want girls to realise i'm flirting and no just being a nice straight girl
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Old 30th Apr 2017, 08:19 PM   #2
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Re: People think i'm straight. How do i look "gayer"

There is no particular look to being gay as being gay is simply a matter of who you are attracted to.
you could try to fulfill the stereotype, but i'm not going to condone that.
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Old 30th Apr 2017, 09:05 PM   #3
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Re: People think i'm straight. How do i look "gayer"

Someone will come along and like you just the way you are. The moment you try to be someone you aren't is just a turn off to people and won't attract the right people.
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Old 1st May 2017, 12:27 AM   #4
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Re: People think i'm straight. How do i look "gayer"

I agree with Jax12, but if u really want to change, flannel shirts
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Old 1st May 2017, 01:55 AM   #5
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Re: People think i'm straight. How do i look "gayer"

Maybe try something subtle, like a rainbow bracelet or necklace without changing your style.
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Old 1st May 2017, 04:27 AM   #6
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Re: People think i'm straight. How do i look "gayer"

If you ever get a chance, perhaps try to mention it in social circles when it comes up in conversation. Follow/like/share lgbt content on social media (and that way, the girl you're flirting with may later see it and realize you were flirting. Treat it like a game rather than a prize you'll win in a few minutes.) Wear subtle rainbow pieces like Nedussa mentioned. Perhaps an "I'm a lesbian" t-shirt. (Comedy is a nice ice-breaker sometimes, and you won't even have to bring it up.)

P.S. I disagree with a lot of the comments here. There's absolutely nothing wrong with stereo-typing yourself. (I've always wanted to be more of a feminine type, though it's never come naturally to me so I dress *mostly like a straight guy.)
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Old 1st May 2017, 05:58 AM   #7
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Re: People think i'm straight. How do i look "gayer"

More obvious flirting I suppose haha I'm not sure how they could twist flirting into genuine kindness or maybe I'm flirting wrong XD
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Old 1st May 2017, 06:02 AM   #8
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Re: People think i'm straight. How do i look "gayer"

Quote:
Originally Posted by tay98 View Post
okay so I know for some people this sounds like I have it easy or whatever, but I don't want people to think i'm straight. I'm quite feminine I guess and I just wanted to know if anyone had any tips on how to subtly let people know i'm bi without announcing it.
For example, I know this girl who's gay but she looks like a stereotypical lesbian (short hair, snapbacks etc) so everyone just knows
I just like makeup and skirts and people just don't know I like girls. Also, my outfits are pretty much all dark colours so it's not like i'm gonna start wearing rainbow shirts or anything.
Mainly just want girls to realise i'm flirting and no just being a nice straight girl
Wear a gay-ish shirt and tshirts from Autostraddle...just some subtly gay apparel thats also girly
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Old 1st May 2017, 07:46 AM   #9
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Re: People think i'm straight. How do i look "gayer"

It's always so confusing..When a girls kinda sorta flirts with you..and you can never be 100% sure, unless she is very specific..So I don't think the rainbow bracelet will do the trick - a lot of straight people wear it to support gay rights.
They should come up with a secret sigh language or something

Last edited by Soulstone; 1st May 2017 at 07:47 AM..
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Old 1st May 2017, 08:57 AM   #10
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Re: People think i'm straight. How do i look "gayer"

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Originally Posted by Soulstone View Post
It's always so confusing..When a girls kinda sorta flirts with you..and you can never be 100% sure, unless she is very specific..So I don't think the rainbow bracelet will do the trick - a lot of straight people wear it to support gay rights.
They should come up with a secret sigh language or something
That would be amazing!

We should start a secret LGBT handshake or something...
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Old 1st May 2017, 11:40 AM   #11
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Re: People think i'm straight. How do i look "gayer"

So, you're being nice to a girl but you want her to know that it's actually flirting? How about moving one inch closer to her as you do it? Just that tiny bit too close for just friends. And then back again so she can decide if she wants to engage in the flirting, too. Extended eye contact is also supposed to be a sign.
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Old 1st May 2017, 08:45 PM   #12
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Re: People think i'm straight. How do i look "gayer"

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Originally Posted by Really View Post
Just that tiny bit too close for just friends. And then back again so she can decide if she wants to engage in the flirting, too.
Agree! Most people can pick up on someone being interested in a little more than friendship...subtle quick things like knee/hair touches are ok to test the water, and they're easy to back out of if the other person gets uncomfortable
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Old 2nd May 2017, 11:52 PM   #13
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Re: People think i'm straight. How do i look "gayer"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Soulstone View Post
It's always so confusing..When a girls kinda sorta flirts with you..and you can never be 100% sure, unless she is very specific..So I don't think the rainbow bracelet will do the trick - a lot of straight people wear it to support gay rights.
They should come up with a secret sigh language or something
Haha I like you're way of thinking!

---------- Post added 3rd May 2017 at 04:55 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by 18breanna View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by tay98 View Post
okay so I know for some people this sounds like I have it easy or whatever, but I don't want people to think i'm straight. I'm quite feminine I guess and I just wanted to know if anyone had any tips on how to subtly let people know i'm bi without announcing it.
For example, I know this girl who's gay but she looks like a stereotypical lesbian (short hair, snapbacks etc) so everyone just knows
I just like makeup and skirts and people just don't know I like girls. Also, my outfits are pretty much all dark colours so it's not like i'm gonna start wearing rainbow shirts or anything.
Mainly just want girls to realise i'm flirting and no just being a nice straight girl
Wear a gay-ish shirt and tshirts from Autostraddle...just some subtly gay apparel thats also girly
Never heard of Autostraddle. Definitely gonna check it out!
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Old 3rd May 2017, 04:51 AM   #14
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Re: People think i'm straight. How do i look "gayer"

The whole "too close to be just friends" thing doesn't apply to some people I know. I have a few friends that are very touchy-feely. They are always touching peoples arms, putting their hands on their shoulder, or hand-on-hand in general conversation with complete strangers.
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Old 4th May 2017, 04:11 AM   #15
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Re: People think i'm straight. How do i look "gayer"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Raziel00 View Post
The whole "too close to be just friends" thing doesn't apply to some people I know. I have a few friends that are very touchy-feely. They are always touching peoples arms, putting their hands on their shoulder, or hand-on-hand in general conversation with complete strangers.
Most of the girls i know are like that. That's why it's so hard
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Old 4th May 2017, 10:03 AM   #16
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Re: People think i'm straight. How do i look "gayer"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chronos View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soulstone View Post
It's always so confusing..When a girls kinda sorta flirts with you..and you can never be 100% sure, unless she is very specific..So I don't think the rainbow bracelet will do the trick - a lot of straight people wear it to support gay rights.
They should come up with a secret sigh language or something
That would be amazing!

We should start a secret LGBT handshake or something...
How about wiggling your eyebrows in morse code to mean "gay" or "bi"?
Gay: --. .- -.--
Bi: -... ..

On the actual subject of the thread... sorry to sound super-stereotypical but how about some flannel or some piercings?
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Old 6th May 2017, 01:26 AM   #17
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Re: People think i'm straight. How do i look "gayer"

^ That is hilarious!! I actually pictured it!

But, I agree and sympathize with the threadstarter, I have the exact same issues. I get way too much attention from guys and creeps (not that it should matter what I wear, but I purposely wear covering clothing even in summer whenever i'm commuting because I have no clue what is attracting them!! I'm very street smart, I don't give the creeps any time of day.) It really frustrates me. Many people are surprised when I (feel comfortable enough to) come out to them, and I've only gotten attention from a few women.

I like the advice of wearing subtle rainbow jewelry and things, and will continue to find more ways like that. But I'm open to other advice and tips as well!
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Old 6th May 2017, 05:25 AM   #18
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Re: People think i'm straight. How do i look "gayer"

Wear rainbow flag paraphernalia. I wish I could.
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Old 8th May 2017, 02:59 PM   #19
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Re: People think i'm straight. How do i look "gayer"

Pride buttons or bracelets! Like the others said: with the rainbow flag or the bi flag colors.

Alternatively I'm pretty sure a double venus necklace would do the trick!
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Old 19th May 2017, 07:12 PM   #20
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Re: People think i'm straight. How do i look "gayer"

i have a nyan cat game on my phone ((YES I KNOW, NYAN CAT. BE QUIET IT'S FUN OK) and it allows you to change the rainbow that comes out from the cat. i kept mine the classic rainbow (gay flag) as a hint to people, but i might go further and make it a lesbian flag instead.
try to do something related to your pride flag, is what i have to say. if you have anything rainbow, or striped in particular that is changeable, change it to your flag. embracing it is fun & clever especially when you eat, breathe, & sleep in the closet LIKE ME!!
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