1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

what helped you more?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by CL1990, May 8, 2017.

  1. CL1990

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2015
    Messages:
    306
    Likes Received:
    52
    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I am currently pretty much in the closet and the only LGBT activity im fully engaging in is a support group I go every other week. I have found that this is now in my confort zone. I have gone to a few organized meetups at bars but I find that it feels too "predatory" for me and I cant seem to find anyone there attractive...just wanted to check with you guys what helped you more?
     
  2. FluffyLightFox

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2017
    Messages:
    221
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    France
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Could you be more specific? What has helped us with what? Being in the closet? Finding partners?
     
  3. CL1990

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2015
    Messages:
    306
    Likes Received:
    52
    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    A few people
    mainly being confortable with the whole thing (yourself mainly)
     
  4. FluffyLightFox

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2017
    Messages:
    221
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    France
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    What made me comfortable with myself? Wasting energy on meticulously destroying my abilities to feel romantic/physical attraction. If you can't like it, change it :icon_bigg

    Otherwise, yeah, I'd like to know what the others have to say about that.
     
  5. Creativemind

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2015
    Messages:
    3,281
    Likes Received:
    411
    Location:
    Somewhere
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I don't really do LGBT meet-ups or groups (outside of this forum). I didn't really need that environment to feel comfortable with my sexuality though, it just comes from within.
     
  6. silverhalo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
    Messages:
    10,698
    Likes Received:
    3,722
    Location:
    England,
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    How do you find the support group? Helpful?

    I think I became comfortable with myself at the beginning by talking to like minded people on EC and then by trying to work with balancing pushing myself to come out to people and then once I had pushed myself out of my comfort zone learning to be comfortable within the new environment.

    Do you have a particular stumbling block like, do you have doubts over your same sex attraction or internalized homophobia or conservative friends and family. Is there 1 particular thing you are most worried about or just generally?
     
  7. rosette

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2017
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    I know I have some internalized homophobia which does make things difficult for me, but it's not surprising considering that my Dad is one of the most vocal, homophobic men you can meet...! He is very religious in the traditional sense and talks a great deal about his opinions, including homophobic ones.... :icon_sad:

    But the advantage I guess should be that I can understand other people who also have internalised homophobia and can offer them my support and my friendship even if they are scared of my love. Even when I want to offer them my love.
     
  8. beenthrdonetht

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2016
    Messages:
    1,315
    Likes Received:
    482
    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    That is an advantage, and you are a very insightful and sensitive person to see that. If only there were a different way to be compassionate, besides suffering.

    Still, I hope that you can quiet that internalized nonsense.