I'm 28 and just had my first experience with a guy. He was really nice. Met him online, but he was very intimate and took charge. We hooked up again 4 days later and now I don't really hear from him. Last time we hooked up he said it would be a fwb situation but now I feel like he just wanted to be my first time. I want to talk to him about things but he kept saying how it's simpler to hook up with guys because there isn't any drama. I just want to know if this is done or will we keep hooking up. We met on ****** and the way he was taking to me is that with me he found what he was looking for. But every day he is contantly online. So I know that's a lie. The hookup escalated quickly and he was very intimate. I didn't stop it but It all just happened so fast. It just felt like more or a hook up and that we had a deeper connection. I tried to ask him about what's next but he said he didn't know he's new to this too and just changed the subject. He admitted that we had a strong sexual connection and he did stuff with me that he hasn't done before because he felt so comfortable. So I haven't been reaching out to him because I don't want to be "dramatic". If I was to have a serious conversation I would want it to be in person so he can't just not answer me in a text. I think I would like to keep something going but I'm also not sure if I feel that way because he was my first time and he is all I know. I tried to talk to other guys to try another hookup but I just keep having flashbacks to me and this guy. I don't know what to do. It's really getting to me and I feel lost. I haven't hooked up with a woman in awhile as well. So I'm not sure if I would be feeing the same way if it was a woman.
Unfortunately, in the online app world, what you experienced is very common. From what you wrote, he was looking just for a hookup and after two goes with you it sounds like he decided it was time to move on. Using apps can be very a very cold experience void of real emotions. It does not always need to be this way, but it is a reality. So long as your entertaining the idea of hook ups using apps, you should accept this as a possible outcome. If it makes you uncomfortable, then maybe apps are not for you. If you have questions that this experience brought on, how about asking your questions here? You will find EC is a friendly place and you can feel comfortable asking your questions. Chances are you will find other members that can help with meaningful answers. So, what should you do? I would mark this down as a learning experience. Do not let it get to you. Brush off the dust and move on.
I agree with OnTheHighway's response. From what I understand about the online app world is that more than likely its all about the hookup as opposed to a more deeper situation. As OnTheHighway had mentioned in his response to you...take this as a learning experience and move on. At this point, there is not much else you can do. After all, although things did not turn out the way you had hoped it would be from the sound of it...it seems that you had a wonderful time with this guy and to me...that says a lot especially with the online dating world because it could have wound up being a disaster.
It sounds like he really got into it at the time, but now he's having "buyer's remorse". A lot of guys are reluctant to simply cut guys off with "OK, no longer interested, bye"...for a couple of reasons. One, it DOES sound kind of rude. And two, people's feelings do change over time. He was interested enough to hook up with you again after the first time, after all, and perhaps he'll decide he wants to re-connect with you. That said, you're certainly under no obligation to sit around waiting for him. In fact, I'd suggest doing the opposite. If you're interested in meeting other guys, go for it. Lex
