hi all, I might have mentioned in the past that I had found myself attracted to a few work colleagues in the past years. Normally these girls are strangers and im not out and, even though I have felt quite a lot of eye contact between us, what annoys me is the sense of shame/guilt at looking or been caught looking by this person. ( and the fact that I get paralysed) is as if I proyect my own judgment of myself on these girls and feel that they must think im a weirdo/gross although, at heart, I think this is not accurate as these girls also look at me (regardless if they are straight or not, I don't know they could be looking at me for many reasons). I am normally quite outgoing with no problem with eye contact and witty with strangers so its like I don't allow myself to be attracted to whoever. I think also a big part is that all my past crushes have always turned out to be straight for all I know.. (this is longer than I intended and might not help getting my message across ... but any advice really would be very helpful)
relax. can't you jsut make frined with htem or do small talk with them? there won't be anything weird about you looking at them in the eyes then. if your'e ashamed of being attracted to them jsut know there's no good reason for that as anyone in htis site will tell you. people can be ashamed of anything the culture they live in deems somehow "bad". i've been ashamed of rediculous things about myself too. things that you'd find laughable. so by advice is not to worry and jsut talk to them whenever you feel like that. if your'e interested in someone in any way you jsut go for them. and the shame si just something you'll get over eventually. about being a werido i'm ure you'r not and nobody thinks it. i'm not a woman though so i might not be, uhm, knowledgeable
I feel you. I work as a cashier at a big grocery store, and i've been attracted to work colleagues. There're three girls there that i find attractive at the moment. I actually got caught staring by who i can only assume was one of the girls' boyfriend once it was very embarrassing, shameful really. I look at them but i try to not stare, and like you said i feel like they probably think i'm weird or disgusting like i know my mom would. Knowing my luck they're all straight, and i'm too dense to read if someone likes me as a friend or is just playing or as a crush anyways. Plus i'm not out yet. Even if coworkers have been fine with a few suspected LGBT coworkers before so i feel like i'd be accepted for the most part...i just need to be out to my dad before i'm ready to be out at work.
