I need help! What tools could you give to deal with people's opinions?

Can't help much, but i'll hawk this thread for advice anyways. Most of the time i just remind myself that nobody else can say anything that my mom hasn't already said and said worse. But sometimes i'm too sensitive or i'm having a bad day or whatever and it gets to me anyways. Most of my coworkers are either nice to me or ignore me, but i'm not out to anybody. Even the supervisor who i'm pretty sure is gay cause i've heard i'm talking about guys a few times to his supervisor friends.

 

Hey OscarX,

That's a tough one. I can see how it would be particularly hurtful and because you don't want to come out to these people for now, if you think you could manage this, here are my suggestions. I think it would make you feel better if you said something, right?

First, given the circumstances, you could either speak up to defend your gay colleague, whether you like him or not, you're both suffering the brunt of this homophobic treatment. Ask her how she'd like it if that's what people said about the chabadniks, or whatever she is.

Additionally or alternatively, you could take the academic approach and simply point out where she's mistaken and needs to do more research on the matter from reputable sources, ie. not religious and keep her opinions to herself until she's more informed.

Are there workplace policies in place against discrimination? I'd also remind her she's overstepping the boundaries of acceptable behaviour.

My 2 cents. Good luck.

 

Sometimes you have to get kicked down to the point where getting up is something that you see as an everyday thing because it eventually builds up a wall protecting you from harm. over time you'll have enough experience in the world where you'll be able to defend yourself against people with horrible opinions. But you cannot for somebody to believe what you do or just like them you would be in the wrong. There is no guide book for how to handle other people's opinions just like there's no guidebook to live a perfect life. Until they're solid evidence that becomes more than words there will never be a way to prove to the ignorant people that we are not a disorder or a problem.

The only thing we can do is educate and if people don't listen or wish to take another perspective been okay as long as they're not punching you in the face or being aggressive they have all the right to speak your mind as well as you do the most you can do is walk away if you don't like it that would be the same thing for politics or anything else in the world

 

OscarX:

My typical response when I know some one is stating an inflamatory opinion to me is to just smile and politely say "Thank you for your opinion. I will take it into consideration." and walk away.

When someone is being dumb and/or ignorant about something, I usually try and present actual factual information to them and possibly direct them to a book or website they can look at to help further their education about the subject. If the person continues to insist that they are right, I just simply say "OK" and walk away.

Discretion is the better part of valor. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just let those kinds of people be, walk away from them and don't interact with them unless you absolutely have to.

Hopefully that helps you out some.

 

Probably she was just annoyed by him.

Think: Annoying person with obvious point of attack (homosexuality) why wouldn't you go to that obvious point?

If the religious chick was my colleugue I would attack on the religion, doesn't mean I can't live with religious people who are nice.

So yeah, this also my advice, if she's stupid towards you probably ask how she can know shit about science with that invisible dude that created everyone.

 

Thats what I do as well. When someone makes a remark that is just ridiculous, or has a strong opinion on a subject, I just say "OK". But in my mind I'm just thinking, wow.

There's no point in arguing or trying to educate someone who doesn't want the information to understand. They can do their own thing. I don't like adding fuel to the fire, so to speak, so I'm cautious about being vocal.

 

My mantra is as long as someone is not physically violent towards gay people then I give them the opportunity to voice their opinion. I might not agree with it and it might hurt me very much but if the person is not harming me physically then I think it´s ok.

It is no use trying to argue with a homophobe. You will never win because they argue with emotion and not logic. I usually just politely tell people that I disagree with their views and leave it at that.