I'm bi/pan and 26 and my friend is gay and 22. I meet him at uni in a lecture, back then non us new ever one of us where gay or bi but i had a feeling he was. I would have stood up for him a couple of times when in bars, them picking on him for being effienate. He loves to attend all the LGBT events and meeting things at uni and gets involved in them all. I dislike the LGBT seen and culture. It’s not for me. I don’t get involved in it. I find it weird just to get together, being friend and attending events based solely of sexuality. I love sports, climbing, going to bars and pubs, boxing, judo, riding my motorbike, running, knife throwing and just competition events. I would much pethure to get together with my friends from home in a pub then attend something like that. Recently he’s keep on attending trying to make me go to these events and stuff, saying that I have to and should because LGBT people should all stick together and I’m letting that committee down and I am and have to be a apart of it. He’s trying guilt me into it witch is very to guilt me into things, but its fucking annoying. I have known him for like a year and said I would attend a pride event because he’s nobody to go with because there busy. Unlike my friends at home where u could say anything to them and known them for so long that u could address them with as insulting because where friends, have known for overall 20 years, unlike them I cant just tell him he’s being a bit of a cunt, he a bit sentivity and i dont what to hurt him. I just want to know what to expect at pride event and how do I deal with him.
Hey, I think everyone is different and some people need the comfort of being amongst LGBT people. You mentioned he is effeminate and has been picked on in bars so perhaps that is why he loves the LGBT events so much. That being said he shouldn't make you feel bad for not attending them. I am not and never have been part of any scene but I don't hate it either. I just have the same friends I had before I came out and almost all of them are straight. I have been to a few prides and have absolutely loved them, the atmosphere is so warm and friendly, it's such a party atmosphere that I am sure you will have a great time. If you need to talk to your friend then just sit him down and explain it to him, you don't need to use insulting language just explain your point of view.
Here is the secret; there no such thing as an LGBT scene or culture. There isn't a main thing that defines LGBT people. There are difference scenes and cultures that you can look for tho within the LGBT community. Usually, when people talking about the LGBT Scene they really just mean the party LGBT scene. Usually the clubs, the music, and the like. But that would be saying " I don't like the straight scene" when what you are really saying is "I don't like to go out to clubs" There are LGBT groups that like exactly this, but they also want to do these hobbies in order to meet other LGBT people. That is shitty of him. You shouldn't be guilted you into anything, but if you want to go with him because he has no one else to go wit I think that is nice of you. You might want to talk to him about how he approached asking you though. He might just have been desperate to go, but was really not okay with going alone so he used the only tools he knew how to use. Pride's differ from city to city. Each pride usually mirrors what your city's culture and way of living is. So for example, our pride in Orlando is VERY family friendly, low-key, and we are strict on certain things. A city like New York that prides itself in being unique, artistic and allowing people to be their whole selves, is going to be a louder, showier and more out there than most prides. In general, Pride looks like a regular picnic, but simply with A LOT of LGBT people walking around seeing the booths and the parade at some point in the program. I say give it a shot. If its not for you then that's that, but most people that I have talked to have been surprised at how much they liked the event. Think about it. Why are you here on empty closets? Some people want what you are getting from EC, but with a person who they can sit over a beer to talk with. It just so happens that friendships also form while you are having these very open and vulnerable conversations.
