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I need a little bit of advice and help to understand something

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Justinian20, May 23, 2017.

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  1. Justinian20

    Justinian20
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    In the world of M/S relationships, I am a submissive person and I have a fetish which I personally want to chase and explore with a like minded boyfriend and who knows the relationship could turn into a full time relationship(if I turns out I like it).

    The thing is though I am into being feminized by a boyfriend(not the full basket but wearing girly clothes, nail polish/makeup, keeping whole body shaved). But I am trying to understand why because I know I am not a woman since I identify as a male. But I do identify as a feminine male(because I love nail polish and makeup and doing all feminine things, in fact if I was able to I would be going out to uni wearing foundation, concealer, mascara and maybe even lipstick as well as nail polish because I just love it.) I am also not afraid with going feminine with clothing because again I just feel more like me. It's almost like I am outwardly very feminine.

    I think it is a chance for me to basically be able to explore and release my femininity in a controlled situation. The other thing though is I am actually turned on by the process and what happens to me in the situation that a boyfriend might feminize me. So its actually a fetish, maybe just maybe the combination of my femininity being completely released and sex appeals to me so much that I want this kind of relationship in the future. An M/S relationship with me and a dominant male with me as the feminized submissive (thats the kind of relationship I want).
     
    #1 Justinian20, May 23, 2017
  2. PatrickUK

    PatrickUK
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    So, what exactly do you want to know? Are you asking why you feel the way you do, or are you trying to understand how a relationship like this would work and how you would meet a guy who is interested in such a relationship?
     
    #2 PatrickUK, May 23, 2017
  3. Justinian20

    Justinian20
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    I'm more interested in why I feel that way.
     
    #3 Justinian20, May 24, 2017
  4. PatrickUK

    PatrickUK
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    In order to answer your question, I would ask how you feel if you don't wear make up, nail polish or do a full body shave? When you look at yourself in the mirror naked and unshaved, with no make up etc. what do you see and how does it feel?

    You say you want to be feminised by a boyfriend, so what kind of boyfriend would he be, in your mind? Whilst it's possible that you would meet a guy who shares your fetish and is at ease with himself, it's perhaps more likely that you would meet a guy who has quite a few hang ups of his own that would filter into the relationship and the bedroom and all of that comes with a certain amount of risk. I'm not saying it's inevitable, but there is an increased likelihood that you'd need to be aware of.
     
    #4 PatrickUK, May 24, 2017
  5. Justinian20

    Justinian20
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    Well for me I feel feminine even with body hair and no nail polish and makeup. The thing is though I feel like an average guy except I want to shave off all my body hair and keep my hair on my head long and I want to wear nail polish and makeup.

    When I look in the mirror with my unshaved body and no makeup and no nail polish. I see very little hair on my body because it's the same colour as my skin. I don't mind not wearing nail polish and makeup, but when I do wear nail polish and makeup I feel amazing.

    Also I don't think I want to be completely feminised but I'm looking for a dominant boyfriend that would turn me into a femboy (pretty much wearing feminine clothes, makeup, nail polish, shaved body hair, long hair on head) but not anything more than that.
     
    #5 Justinian20, May 24, 2017
  6. Justinian20

    Justinian20
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    I also don't quite understand why it gets me so aroused to imagine myself being a femboy and wearing women's lingerie and looking like a woman having sex with a dominant man. when I look at real women and I don't feel anything at all, no sexual attraction, no desire, no anything.

    I am a submissive person in BDSM and in general and I will admit I have similar interests to more girls than guys. So perhaps I'm just wanting to be gender non-conforming and the idea of having a dominant guy give his helping hand to that appeals to my submissive side.

    I just don't know the answer to why I feel this way. I certainly do not have gender identity issues because I'm happy to be male and I don't consider being a femboy a threat to my masculinity because to me I am male and I understand it comes from the brain which means I can be slightly feminized and still be male. Or the whole thing is just a big sexual thing and I desire being feminized (only a bit nothing permanent) because I like the sexual side of it.
     
    #6 Justinian20, May 24, 2017
  7. Chloe

    Chloe
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    It sounds like you are making an association between having erotic preferences and having hangups that could cause a problem in a relationship. I'm not sure that's what you're saying, but I'll answer anyway. People into a specific type of erotic domination/submission can have as stable/happy a relationship as anyone else -- whatever percentage of success and failure that is. (I know of several couples who divorced because only one of them had an interest in some sort of BDSM.)

    There is nothing unhealthy about having a good match of interests in the bedroom, and nothing wrong with sexual compatibility being a major factor in choosing a mate. There doesn't have to be a reason for the preferred erotic interests. It might be as simple as the fact that people have different interests.

    One risk is when unhealthy aspects of the relationship are overlooked in order to get the sexual aspects. Members of sexual minorities sometimes feel that our choices are limited and we settle for less than what is best for us. I "became" bisexual because it was difficult find lesbians interested in BDSM at the time. I'm not saying it wasn't good for me, but it was something I did in order to have a sexually compatible partner.

    As for the whole femboy thing -- seems perfectly fine, not all that unusual.
     
    #7 Chloe, May 24, 2017
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