Hey EC. I'm just looking for some second opinions on a not-really-serious issue. My school's LGBT center is having a formal this week. I've been debating going and leaning towards not going, but I keep feeling like I should push myself to go for the experience and whatnot. The thing is, I don't really know anyone who's going since I've only started going to the center for the last month or so. And by that I mean I know a couple of people as acquaintances (barely), but I'm sure they'll be much more preoccupied with people they're closer friends with. I'm also worried that I'll end up going and getting jealous and/or depressed if people are coupling up, because I'd finally be in an environment where I COULD couple up but had nobody to couple up with. I guess I want to make sure that if I'm not going, I'm not going for good reason and I'm not just chickening out. But I'm thinking that maybe it'd be better to keep going to the center, meeting more people, and go next year when I actually know people who are going.
When I started socializing with gay people, I made a rule for myself that I had to go to everything I was invited to, unless I didn't feel safe. You don't have to do that, but I think it was best for me. You don't have to go, but it won't hurt you to.
Is it a community wide event? As in, is it truly a "formal" gathering? My school's LGBT group sucks - I stay away from it. However, I went to an AIDS Taskforce Event a few years back and LOVED IT. I felt welcomed and loved, mainly because it was a whole mix of people, mainly middle aged folks and up. It was wonderful because it took the pressure off, you know?
If you can use it as a chance to leave your comfort zone, come out of your shell, and talk to some new people, then it'll surely be a good experience for you. But even if you can't, I think the disappointment of going and thinking, "Well that was a waste of time," will sting less than staying home and wondering what would have happened if you'd gone. If nothing else, it can be practice; you can go to this event so you can get more comfortable mingling in an environment like that, or at least familiar with the dynamics of an environment like that. It's a comfort that'll serve you well in social contexts and elsewhere.
dude, if i were you... i'd probably not go...only coz i dont mix well with LGBT people... maybe... talk to one person and see if you could go together? so your not sitting there by your self like a lost child in the corner
From the guy who has never been to anything like that in his life, I'd go. Who knows, you might find "Mr. Right" there, and if not, then it would be great practice. Hang in there....
Thanks guys. The formal is an "all-ages" event, but it seems like (from what I've overheard) that it's mostly just students and their respective significant others/friends, not like randoms from the community coming to join. I asked my friend who knows more people at the center than I do (and is very straight) about it, and he offered to gather a group to go with me. Heh. Anyways, it turns out a major group assignment is taking much longer than expected anyways, so I'm going to pass on going until further notice. This mark is actually a lot more important right now. I'll just resolve to go to formal next year, especially since I'll hopefully know more people by then too.
Go for it! You can always leave if it does get bad but I am sure people will be super welcoming- use it asa n oopertunity to network and get to know others
For another time, usually taking a chance and going even though you run the risk of ending up alone in a corner has always paid for me. I have gone to a lot of these things alone, and always ended up finding someone to talk to, as I was completely new in the city when I moved here. As long as we take the chance, and try to be open and social, and aren`t afraid to say Hi to someone new, or even "Hey, I am completely alone here, as I am pretty new, could I perhaps sit here and get to know you guys?" we usually never wind up all alone, but instead get to know new people. I have met a few dates that way, lol
If you go and don't like it then u can always just leave.... I think u should at least show up and see how it is, worse case is u show up and its lame so you leave.... best case, u can find someone. id think about it a lil more
Focus on this part. You never know - a lot of people go to these things with friends, and if there's nobody to ask to dance, or chat up, they might not have as good of a time as if you were there! Besides, what are people on EC always looking for? Somewhere to meet gay people, that's not a bar, and not online. Go for it! EDIT: And, reading further, you even have an entourage. What's to lose? The assignment can wait for a few hours... :icon_wink
