Ok. This is ridics confusing for me so its probably not going to come accross very well to you guys.. If I'm completely honest with myself I am gay. I like girls and there is nothing I can do a bout that. The thing is I can't be honest with myself. The minute I catch even a hint of gay of the brain Im zapping it out, I dont want to be gay. But then! There's this guy who it would be completely innappropriate to have any relationship with due to age etc. But I can't help but feel like a connection. I keep telling myself its a crush as a way to inforce that Im not a lesbian and that if it were appropriate I would persue it. The truth is I can't imagine a physical relationship with him or any other guy for that matter. Yes I adore his personality but that is about it. In the past no matter how sure Ive been of liking a guy that feeling is gonethe minute anything actually starts to develop and to hell with sex because I am not and have not actually enjoyed myself with a guy. But then I think i have a crush.. I just do not understand to save my life!
Well, you can admit it to yourself when you are being honest, clap yourself on the shoulder for that, it`s step one. Second step, try to become more comfortable with the thought, hang out here on EC with us, check out some pictures of hot babes online (actresses, not saying you should download porn, lol), allow yourself to mentally compliment girls you meet who seem nice, make an effort into convincing your brain that it`s okay! It`s great to like girls, because girls are great. They are soft and cuddly and nice Well, most of the time. Sometimes they are absolute bitches, myself included there during that bad week in the month. Thing is, it doesn`t change you. You are who you are, regardless of your sexual preference. It doesn`t change the world, it doesn`t define who you are, it doesn`t actually make that much of a difference, other than possibly how people accept and treat you if you live in a conservative area. As soon as you become more comfortable with the whole thing, you`ll probably feel a lot less confused, as you`ll be able to accept it and think about it in a whole different way. And then you can also figure out if you are totally a lesbian, or bisexual with a preference for women, or whatever you want and like. Just let time help you, and work a little on OKing it in your mind. Whatever you turn out to prefer, it will be okay. 'hugs*
