why do I fear it?

Nope, but I hear it gets easier with time. I don't know how old you are, but I've heard that as you age, you stop caring about the random strangers' opinions of you.

You've let people you trust know. Are you fearing the reactions of the people who haven't earned that trust? Letting my sister know about me was hard, but I knew that she would support me. I haven't let many other people know because I don't trust them with such personal information that they may use to hurt me.

 

It does get easier with time

Coming out to folks gets you to the stage that they 'know' you're gay but also does so as a sort of one time event or additional 'factoid' about yourself. Yes, they know it, but unless they are the sort of person who is going to keep it top of mind (for positive or negative reasons), it can sort of 'fall off the radar' in the course of normal interactions.

Talking about the 'gay stuff' you're doing in your life (people you're seeing, activities or events you've attended, whatever) takes this to the level of making who you are an everyday part of their experience of you. You're basically sending the message that you expect them to accept that side of you on an everyday basis the same way they accept the activities and relationships of all of their straight friends and relations. And you may feel a bit self-conscious about it, at first.

In a way it might feel sort of like coming out all over again (and again, and again) but at a less intense level. Eventually it will get to the point where you don't feel so aware of it (any more than you feel self-conscious about talking about your classes or job or whatever).

The next stage after that is when you meet someone and start including them in your activities with your friends (or maybe even family). As I understand it this can be a bit nerve wracking for anyone regardless of their orientation.

Hope this helps,

Todd

---------- Post added 7th Mar 2013 at 08:49 PM ----------

Oops. Sorry. It would probably be nice to throw some advice in here somewhere too, huh?

Is there one particular 'gay thing' you could talk to people about that feels easier to talk about than the others? This might let you sort of 'ease into' the whole issue in a moderately non-awkward way. Once you get comfortable talking about that topic, maybe add another one that is a little more awkward and get used to that and so on.

You might also think about the folks you are out to. Are there some subjects that you think might be easier to talk about with one person than with another? If so, talk about those things with that person and other things with a different person.

Hope this helps,

Todd

 

I know of someone who basically was just like eff it and came out all at once to everyone. He's not your stereotypical gay guy- hes a rower and doesn't fit what people generally think of as gay.. if that makes sense.
I think the way he handled it worked really well, basically he just came out and then started just being 100000% open about that gayness. He changed his wall paper on his laptop to some calendar boys and then just makes comments about peoples butts in front of everyone. In a way thats kind of made everyone just completely fine about it because he jokes around about it quite a bit. And so I think if he was to come out in a relationship everyone one would jist be like omg. ABOUT TIME..

I dont know if thats helpful. BUt something to consider..

 

I had/have this problem I'm super shy and came out a year ago and even today still have that awkward feeling when talking about it. But I am getting a lot better a complete 180 from a year ago just got to ease your way into it. It was really hard to stop acting straight even after coming out but all my friends were extremely supportive and pushed me to be more open and it has helped a lot. I think you just got to throw yourself out there and be honest and proud of who ya are. I've lost a few "friends" but after being honest and open gained some amazing people in my life.