I have a big problem, I can't open up to anybody. I have a couple of secrets, hidden from everybody, and the number is piling up, I have many friends, some really good, but I find it impossible to open to any of them, it's starting to affect my life, because I'm basically a closed book, the secrets I have mean I sometimes hide where I'm going and what I'm doing. I don't feel really close to anyone and it's getting me down, and making my feel lonely. I've tried speaking to a counsellor, but it doesn't really well, because I'm so secretive, I won't even tell her what they are. Can someone help me to be more open, or point me in the right direction to get support, or something, I'm pretty desperate right now
I don't know if I'll be able to be much help, but I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes I don't even know where to start with opening up to people because I've kept so much without really thinking about it. I think the best bet is to find somebody you trust and start with them. Tell them something - even if it's just a small thing. Something you consider irrelevant. Then work your way up. The more you tell of yourself to that one person, the better you will feel. Then you can tell others. I used to never open up to people because it made me feel so uncomfortable to talk about my feelings - even talking to a psychologist made me feel physically ill - but the more you do it the better it gets. You have to force yourself to do it or you'll never be able to push yourself out of your comfort zone to find a place where you feel more at ease with yourself. Trust me; it's worth it. Being able to talk openly to somebody about problems and secrets can be a massive weight of your shoulders.
I guess one thing is try to figure out WHY you're being so secretive. "I don't tell people X because..." Why? Because you think they'll think less of you if they know? Because you feel withholding information gives you more power in the friendship? Some other reason? Lex
