I'm sure I'm far from being the first gay person who has had this problem. How have some of you handled your attraction to people of the same sex that were straight? There have been lots of guys that I liked, and some I even fell in love with, but they were always straight, so my attraction would always be unrequited. At some point it became emotionally painful for me to be attracted to guys: it would never matter if I found someone attractive or cared about or even loved, because those emotions would never amount to anything by the simple fact that the other person could not feel the same way about me. It has become a problem now, since whenever I begin to like a guy I immediately feel pained and then guilty, as I tell myself I should know better than to be attracted to anyone. Can some of you share any advice or experiences on handling such situations?
I've been there and I might currently be going through it. I did it a lot when I was younger, because I just "assumed." I think my biggest advice is to use some common sense. If a guy is making moves towards you, then you shouldn't get mad at yourself if he's "straight." If you have logical and honest evidence (not just "I think he's gay... He smiled at me!") then you can move forward. It's never black and white and that's what is difficult. Just be proud of yourself and you can make it through.
I deal with my attraction to a straight individual the way I'd deal with my attraction to someone who was not attracted to me; by having a period of negativity and then metaphorically slapping myself upside the head a as a reminder that if I do not keep moving forwards then I'll never find the person who reciprocates that attraction. It's not constructive, but it's what I do.
The only thing to do is wait for the feelings to die. Although at the time it seems like they never will! Wait it out and look for someone who IS available
Unfortunately, in my experience those feelings can linger on for a while, at least until you meet someone that could reciprocate your feelings... For me some distance from the crush is the best solution in the short-run, at least it gives you the necessary motivation to keep looking around for someone new and not be attached to a cloud. It freaking hurts in the beginning, but it is one of the only effective remedies.
I have a huge crush on a straight girl right now, and it's tough. But I love seeing her and being with her and that's enough for me right now. One day I hope I'll meet someone. :icon_bigg
I think I'm falling for a straight friend of mine. Whenever I'm down, I think of him, and I laugh. Whenever I'm feeling lonely, I do what I can to hang out with him. We've pretty much got into the groove of him spending the weekends at my house pretty much. And really, the happiness of my day doesn't begin until I see him at school (which isn't until 12:00). Whether or not I'm falling for him, is debatable. All I know is he's one of the best friends I have. Whether or not that's enough for me, that's debatable as well. But all I know is, that's good enough for now. Hang in there my friend, we all face emotional struggles when it comes to searching for love. Don't let it sail your ship nor sink it. You just have to let love find you, and keep an eye open.
