It's been a while since I've been here! Hello, everyone. Before I start, I'd like to say that I've finally decided to come out to my parents in senior year! (Right before I leave on my plane to college) XP Well, the guy I've been crushing on has started flirting more now. I just have 2 questions. Do the straight flirt with the bi/gay? Why do I feel so uncomfortable holding eye contact with him? I can only 'pretend' to look at him if I am focusing on something near him. That's the only reason why I catch him flirting since he responds with staring and smiling. It's even more awkward when he realizes I'm not staring at him. LUL.
My two closet friends are straight, and all they do is flirt with guys. Well, I'm thinking one of them is secretly bi. But anyways, how exactly is he flirting? I'm personally completely oblivious to smiles and stares, but then again my buddies have a tendancy to play with other men's nipples, play with someones ass, and say things like "Hey sexy", etc. IMO, eye contact is tough when you have a crush on someone. Don't know what to tell ya there.
Good luck on coming out to your parents! ^_^ Well first, do they know that the guy they are talking to are bi/gay? There is really two types of flirting in how it is described these days. On one side, it is comically messing or joking with someone. On another it is attempting to show interest in someone. The best way to tell the difference is to think about how and when it is said. Usually when people are comically flirting, it falls under the context of the conversation. Something was said or discussed that let up to that joke. Most people dont spontaneously flirt and throw out compliments to people they arent interested in. If you arent sure, then the best thing to do would be to gain some confidence and flirt back. Many people have problems holding eye contact in general. Its usually hieghtened when they are around someone they are attracted to. Being uncomfortable with eye contact is also often caused by a lack of confidence. I vaguely remember feeling that when I made eye contact with someone, especially an attractive guy, it made me nervous because it meant that he was now looking at me directly, which was horrifying when I wasnt confident in my appearance. I would take some time to really try to maintain eye contact the next time you see him. Dont be afraid to face the fact that he is looking at you.
His flirting is very subtle. There just so many situations. 1. If he's staring (and I look back), he'd hold the eye contact and slowly start smiling. Casual smile. There was one exception where his mouth was a little open. 2. Accidental touches/1 was purposeful. The accidental touches are usually when he rushes past me in the hallways and I tried to avoid him once but we ended up 'touching'. The purposeful one was on V-day and he held it out for more than 4 seconds. His back and my arm were directly touching. He didn't move. I did. 3. Talks about me a lot and directs his friend's attention towards me when he does it. And, he retells the things that he experiences with me. For example: The V-day touching. He'd tell them that we touched and that I ended up moving etc. 4. His friends sat in a group of tables behind me. He didn't; he sat at the seat closest to me, to my right. 5. He always looks so 'shocked' to see me. Especially in the hallways. He told his friends that he's confused about me because of the hallway interaction we had where we had touched? Don't know why he's confused.... -0- 6. Happy Birthday (name) This isn't flirting but when I returned from sick leave, he noticed because he walked in the room and looked down at me sitting at my desk. He never usually does it though. ---------- Post added 21st Mar 2013 at 09:55 PM ---------- They know I like them. It's always out of the blue? One time, and one time ONLY, he tried to pull a conversation with me. He walked into the room and said, "What's up (name)?" but he said it too softly so I couldn't quite tell if he really said anything. Yup, I ignored him. I noticed it really happened when he was glaring across the room and whispered to his friend with his eye still on me. It's always random and I never expect anything. Sometimes, it makes me feel uncomfortable but then after a while, it's really darn sweet to remember what happened. And, thanks! I hope my parents understand. ---------- Post added 21st Mar 2013 at 10:00 PM ---------- [/QUOTE]Many people have problems holding eye contact in general. Its usually hieghtened when they are around someone they are attracted to. Being uncomfortable with eye contact is also often caused by a lack of confidence. I vaguely remember feeling that when I made eye contact with someone, especially an attractive guy, it made me nervous because it meant that he was now looking at me directly, which was horrifying when I wasnt confident in my appearance. I would take some time to really try to maintain eye contact the next time you see him. Dont be afraid to face the fact that he is looking at you.[/QUOTE] My eye contact with him lasts for 1 second. I look, our eyes meet briefly and I look away. It happens a lot. We just happen to look at each other several times at the same time in the same class period. It's so weird :O. Maybe he just likes looking around? When he is staring at me, it's literally in my eyes. It becomes uncomfortable for me because I freeze up and can't control my reactions. But, after, I go all sweet and say, "Aww that was sweet of him". That's been happening a lot lately. I guess my self-esteem is low. His is probably really high.
I totally know where you're coming from. I've learned to take "signals" with a grain of salt, as you'll often find yourself convinced the person is sending you "GOGOGO" signals, when it turns out they had no such intention. However, the fact that he actually talks about you so much definitely conveys a greater interest than I'd expect from a straight guy . The best thing in these situations is to just get to know the person, talk to him, hang out. Start with just being friends, that's the best thing about gay relationships, is we can always build from a friendship. Things are often very relaxed.
The "GOGOGO" signals I GIVE him, usually end up being embarrassing and awkward. D: I've already given him an "OK" I'm open for a relationship like a hangout at the movies and they gave me an apology for not being able to read the message in time. All he does, is just flirt in class. He never really does much in the hallways. And, if he does, he's just either looking/staring. Wait. Since you've been through this already, have any of your crushes told all their friends about your crush on them? Is it bad if all their friends know?!
