Right so yeah… for years I've lived in the closest and only a few months ago did I even tell anyone, she was a out lesbian and close friend and she was totally cool with it and helped me loads. And yeah so we got very close… and started dating. That's actually how I came out…I started dating her (not the best way I know but well…yeah haha) and yeah things were great for a while and I was really happy. Then like 3 weeks ago she ended it with me because she needed some space and yeah other reasons I really don't want to go into. But she still wanted to be friends, I wanted to stay friends too being as I trust her and I don't have alot of friends or trust lots of people. So yeah… first week was really hard and I was super depressed… I actually cut myself to help, i just felt so numb and depressed and empty and cutting made me feel something. So yeah… I stopped after a week cause she got really upset and almost started cutting due to personal issues so that snapped me out of it. The second week all was fine and we were friends, yeah it was a tad awkward at times and one of our friends thought we were dating again but it was okay. Then 2 weeks and 4 days after the break up she gets a boyfriend! Like I'm happy for her but it hurts alot… I mean if she moved on so quickly did she ever care for me? To make matter worse earlier that day I got a anonymous text message saying I was a b**ch and how my kinda make them sick and should die… so yeah I started cutting again and withdrew into myself completely. All my friends noticed and she tried to talk to me… she ended up having to tell at me to make me even realise something may have been wrong. I mean in my head I feel okay but I look at my arms and everything and I've just realised I'm not… I've talked to her about it and she says she'll be here for me and she wants me to talk to our school counsellor… but do I really need it? I mean I'm okay…aren't I? I'm getting better… Okay I don't know what to think anymore… I'm hurting and confused Is any of this normal? Or am I sick and twisted like the message said? Sorry for unloading this on everyone…
I don’t think it would be bad talking to the counselor. It’ll seem awkward at first but I think doing so might help you figure out where you’re at in the healing process. Best of luck!
Well I don't think you're sick and twisted like that message. Though personally, I don't think self harm is the best way to handle your problems. I know that you're depressed over your ex, but don't beat yourself up over it. Also, in regards of that text no one has the right to tell another person to die. You're beautiful no matter what. I'm no expert on these kinds of situations, but I tried. I'm sorry you're feeling this way though, and I hope things get better for you. (*hug*)
OMG I didn’t finish my post! I did not mean for it to come out as you being sick and twisted, you aren’t. I echo Niko’s statement.
Thanks for that I know in my rational mind it's not the best way to help… it just made me feel something. It isn't just the breakup that set it off there's other things too but it was just the final straw that knocked me. I think I may talk to the counsellor… I don't know though… I mean do I really have a problem? And even if I did have one I don't trust easily so I doubt I'd actually talk… Thanks for this both of you… I hope I it'll sort out soon too… I just wish it never happened… it'd be easier if I stayed in the closest, I wouldn't have received those messages or anything… sigh… But thanks again
