Hey! So, recently I have been visiting universities and colleges and I really want to get involved in greek life. However, my parents want me to join a christian fraternity, and I don't really want to. My plan for college is to have as much fun as I possibly can, and the other frats have awesome parties, while the christian ones might be lame. The one my parents want me to join is a dry fraternity, meaning that they don't have any alcohol. I really want to join a frat house that parties, so should I join another one behind my parents back? They really are not open to the idea of me joining a non Christian one, and I don't really want to be caught disappointing them. What should I do?
At some point, you've got to live your life. I suspect that there will be more than one area in which you won't/won't want to conform to your parents expectations. The question is, when will you be ready to face that and make your own decisions? If you're concerned about the backlash from joining a fraternity that your parents don't approve of (such as them having you pulled out of school or something) then you might want to wait until you're 18. If you'll be 18 next fall (or whenever you head to college) then you might want to just take a deep breath and plunge into disappointing your parents. Make it clear that it's your life and you appreciate all that they've done to raise you, but you feel that you need to make your own decisions in life/explore/etc. I don't know much about Greek organizations, but if you won't be 18 until later in your college career, you might be able to rush sophomore/junior year. I don't really know. But really, it's your choice what you do, not theirs. They've got to let you spread your wings at some point.
You shouldn't let your parents dictate what you do. Uni is a time to establish your independence. You need to do whatever you feel is right.
there are professional fraternities that are related to a certain majors, like business or even engineering. lol. as for whether they drink or not, i don't know lol. and mind you, despite what media and news say, there are actually good greeks that enforces volunteer activities and student event things lol. i dunno if your parents used to be in college, or even student organizations back in their age, but things have changed a lot since then (other than like nearly a century old buildings) Now for the bold part... are you already in one? I am confused @_@
Who will be paying for it? Dues for fraternities with houses are very expensive. I would recommend joining one you see as interesting to you, otherwise, you'll not be invested in it. If you pay for it, it's not up to your parents. If your parents are paying, then they have some say, naturally, and might choose not to pay.
As an aside - there's more to university than partying, and more to fun than being drunk. And if you're going to university just to party, you might want to reconsider going to university.
If you wanna Drink drink. I'm not directing this at all Americans but in my experience they are so negative towards alcohol and yet they'res no negativity to all the fatty full of crap food they eat. Alcohol has been drank for thousands of years. The crap food that americans have easily to accessible is a modern thing. And it just gets annoying hearing Hypocritical christians. in the bible it says Man and man should not be together. It also says you shouldnt eat rabbit and give every penny they earn and share with the poor? I think I could name plenty of Christians that don't. I'm not saying theyre bad people I'm just saying you can live your life with good morals without a religous tag. All I'm trying to say is have some bloody fun!!
I will echo Budder's post. I've never drank alcohol and still had an extremely fun university life because of the friends I had not how much booze I drank. Just remember that. Plus how will you stay and party if your grades plummet from too much partying? Don't forget while it can be fun to party, there are adverse effects and if you're joining a university just to get into a frat to party, I suggest looking elsewhere for education.
And this is the problem with parents who raise their children super strictly and with rigid rules. When the child becomes of legal age, often they just go wild for a while. While that isn't the end of the world, consider what you're at university to do: get a quality education, in as much depth as you can, while your parents are footing the bill. Yes, you can squander the (huge) financial investment they're making in your future and spend your college years partying it up... or you can focus on your education. You cant really do both, though you can certainly strike some sort of balance. The thing most people entering college don't realize is, what they put into their college experience will have a profound and long-term effect on their lives later on. If you screw around and spend most of college drunk or high, and do as little as necessary to pass... you may even get reasonable grades, but you won't learn much. A lot of people do that, and get along just fine. But if, instead, you put as much energy as you possibly can into learning everything you can... you'll be able to kick the ass of many of your peers when you're out in the job market, because you worked hard and got the education and they did not. Now... all of that said, what you do is you to YOU, not your parents. I agree with the others that have said you will have to come to terms with disappointing them at some point. I wouldn't even bother with the Christian fraternity if it doesn't interest you. You can sign up to make your parents happy, and then quit in the first week, if you must. As far as other fraternities... it depends on what your goal is. If you just want to party, reread what I've said above and see if it makes you think any differently. If you're convinced you just want to screw around, why go to college at all? You can take a year or two or three and completely screw around while having some bullshit minimum wage job, and you won't blow a ton of your parents money on an education you aren't interested in. Then, when you figure out what a waste of time that is... you can go to school when you're actually ready to learn, and get a lot more out of it.
Should you join a non-Christian fraternity behind your parents' back? I think that depends on the answers to a few other questions. Are your parents paying for your education out of pocket? Are they the type of people that will cut you off if you anger them? I agree that you should be your own person and so forth. However, if they're paying for your education and there is a chance you could get cut off over this, I don't think a fraternity is worth all the trouble. If this is not an issue then I think you should join any fraternity you'd like
