Ok so to begin I want to say, I was having a good day and night. I was catching up on eps of my favorite web-series "The LXD" and I was doing my own dances and everything while learning some new ones. Now the issue is, a few moments ago, my dad calls me downstairs and he tells me my sister told HIM to tell me she's coming to get me for church in the morning. Back when I officially came-out to my parents, I informed my mother that I didn't believe in her god and that I didn't like church. Not because I didn't feel welcome it was because it just wasn't my thing tho I am very spiritual. Now this isn't the first time this has happened to me because i'm the youngest and the only boy. For some reason, my mother and eldest sister feel as if they get to plan out everything for me instead of just trying to put themselves into my interests. I swear it feels like the motto is "Assimilate or Die." They are both extremely overbearing and very much selfish since they only try to conversate or even bother with me on their terms. And the cruelly ironic thing about all of this is that they both know and despise the fact that I am Gay so I spend most if not all my time in my room when I am home. I rarely ever speak to either of them if not needed and I mind my own business. My overall dilemna is that I am tired of being made to feel as if I have to bend and jump to their every command and whim because they are always "guilt-tripping"(since they know how "empathic" I am towards others) me into something they know I really don't care to be bothered with. And then when they don't get their way, they call in the troops and it becomes me vs most of the family for the umpteenth time and honestly I don't have it in me for those kind of fights anymore(which is sad because i'm only 21). Back to the moment at hand, not too long after it happened, I felt like shit. And part of me wanted to cry but instead I cut up and down my arms and ankles which is something i've never done before, atleast not to the degree I did this evening, since I never really saw the point of it. Weirdly enough, everytime this happens I develop this whole new mindset and I fully understand why people kill themselves. At this point, it's just running in circles since I have stood my ground against them both passively and aggressively. Another aspect that upsets me is how my father didn't call me to answer the phone which shows any choice I would've had in the matter was clearly taken from me on purpose. And he pisses me off how he just plays along with it to keep the fukkin "peace" even though there is never any peace because it becomes a shouting match or "Mean Girls."(I get exiled because I didn't jump when mommy dearest beckoned, :***: outta here!) So my question is this, Does anyone have advice on how to deal with overbearing individuals who won't take No for answer?
Unless your sister is capable of literally picking you up and carrying you to church by raw force (and holding you down while there the whole time) she is utterly impotent and powerless over you. You can tell her this quite calmly and decisively (along with the fact that no, you will not be going to church today or ever unless you decide otherwise. She doesn't get a vote) and then turn away and dismiss her. If she attempts to object tell her you're done with her now and keep going. If she tries to create a scene, remain calm and stick to your guns. The only power people like this have is to prey upon our better natures. When you stop playing their game, they have no power. Sorry if that sounds way more aggressive than you'd like. I've run into these sorts of people from time to time and they really piss me off. I don't tolerate their crap even for a moment. Whether they are family or not is irrelevant to me. If you prefer to take a less aggressive approach to this, get up early and go somewhere for the morning so you're not there when she comes to get you for church. Go have a nice coffee and a pastry, do something fun, come home in the afternoon or somesuch. My 2c worth, Todd
