Here's a quick backround. I'm currently living in a very tiny, rural town where everyone knows everyone. I go to a highly conservative, anti-gay church where my dad is the pastor. I've come out to my dad and he's very accepting and open minded, but the people at my church and openly hostile towards gays. Every Sunday I have to sit there and listen to people bash on the LGBT community and talk about how "disgusting" we are. It's seriously getting to me, and I've had several episodes where I've broken down and cried because of this. There's no way for me to get out of going to church there, so what should I do? I feel completely unaccepted and hated. :icon_sad:
You sound like my best friend. Her dad is a pastor, yet her whole family is very liberal. Her church does a lot of this. It's very backwards. Why can't you just not go? If your dad is this accepting, why won't he let you stay home?
How is there no way for you to not go to church at that specific one? Does your dad think if you don't go to his church then you won't go at all? Because if that is the case then I would look into LifeWay. Their philosophy is "we accept people where they are and for who they are." Some LifeWay churches have LGBT Life Groups (Life Groups are groups of people with common interests). You could go their website at Lifechurch.tv and do some research. Look at their statements, what they believe, ect and if you want you can watch Pastor Craig. LifeWay is a network church meaning they have campuses all around the world that follow the same lessons. If you like what you see then find out if there is a campus near you. Then you could talk to your dad, saying that you feel unaccepted, unloved and unwelcomed, then show him that you have done research into it and are not just jumping off the bridge without looking. And ask him if it would be ok if you went to that church. I don't know about you, but if I'm at a church where I am uncomfortable and feel unwanted, it's hard for me to take anything from the message. If you feel that way too, then let him know. You are not wanting to quit church all together, you just want to go somewhere you can feel loved and get the whole message. Other than that, all you can do is let it roll off your back and don't let it bug you, but I would save that as a last resort. Good luck, and God bless.
My dad wants me to come to his church because of the "image" he says we need to keep up in this town. He says he would be willing to let me attend a different church, accept that there are only a couple of churches here and believe it or not, mine is probably the most liberal. I know of several accepting churches in the closest big city to me, but I'm not alowed to drive out of town by myself.
Does your dad know how much this is affecting you? I mean the specific points that you're breaking down in tears because of this and that people at the church are very offensive and hurtful for you, even down to the things they're actually saying? I come from a very similar town - super small, very socially conservative, three churches to choose from (all basically the same), etc. But another thing we had is that families were very tight knit - you simply did not turn your back on a relative. Obviously this is a gross over-simplification, but is there a similar idea in your town? If you haven't already, try having a serious, sit-down conversation with your dad about this. Images are nice, and I understand how important they are in a town like that, but if his daughter is being affected by it this much, he might be able to listen to you, and there are several options at hand (different church, not going at all, or maybe even something else).
That's the sad part. It will probably not work. These people usually have no logic. The best bet is to work on why you don't want to go.
I have to agree that talking with your dad is a good idea. Under the circumstances, I think the best idea would be to stay as far away from the LGBT haters as you can get. (I know this is a pretty obvious idea.) Perhaps you and your dad could find creative solutions. For example, if the LGBT hate is strong during after service coffee (assuming your church has that), then that might be a good time to be responsible for going through the sanctuary making sure everything is picked up. Finally, your dad deserves praise for being open minded and accepting.
