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Want to be in a relationship, but scared.

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by KiddlesP, Mar 31, 2013.

  1. KiddlesP

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    The title says it all... what can I do, how can I start? :icon_sad:
     
  2. Cascade

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    Hey what do you know, another guy from Saskatchewan on here! Sorry, just not something you see too often.

    Just wanted to say that I'm the same way. In fact, until just recently, a relationship would have been the last thing I would have expected. I think the best thing you can do to be in a relationship is to just be yourself. Don't try too hard, just go about your life and when you see someone you like, take the initiative and try to talk to him.

    And it is a scary thing, being faced with a relationship. I would recommend not thinking about it so much and just going out and doing. Overthinking is a huge weakness of mine and when I stopped stressing about things and started doing them with someone (going out for lunch, etc), it was the biggest step I could have taken.

    I'm not the most experienced person on here that can talk about this, but I think a big thing about finding and being in a relationship is to just be yourself and to not think as much as do. (Though thinking is still important)
     
  3. aspiecarer

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    Hi Dragonboy,
    Looking back at myself it starts off with friendship with someone and yes, being yourself.Slowly the friendship became 'love' and a desire to have a relationship and live together..
    All in all it took about a year to make sure it works out..so don't rush things and feel pressured to have a 'relationship' with the first guy you get on with..
    Finds some gay friends , see how you get on and let things happen..
     
  4. bre16017

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    All I can say is, don't look for it. Be yourself. And be happy with yourself.
     
  5. mwaffles

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    Yes! There is no rush when it comes to love. You just have to appreciate everything. And if you aren't in a relationship, don't give a shit about it, you know? It's so good to know yourself, what you like and dislike in other people, and in yourself, so you can change. You have to know exactly what you are looking for and not just settle for a person that has nothing in common with you.

    It's really nice the alone time you get when you are not in a relationship. I've never been in a relationship per se, but I've known people that I like and would love to be with them, and also people who I don't have nothing in common, so, it'd be terrible if we were together.

    You just live your life, and just meet as many people as you can, and just go from there. Everything will come along and you'll see it'll be worth the wait. Relationships are never as good as they show in the movies. People actually fight for stupid reasons and you'll have to deal with the stress of being in a relationship. We all think it's all cuddling and watching movies, but it's nothing like that. There are those stupid fights where you'll not want to look at the face of the other person.

    Just enjoy being single and meeting new people.
     
  6. skiff

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    Hi,

    You are scared about the wrong thing in my opinion.

    The reality is not the fear of love and being vulnerable to another person. The issue is the playing field is empty.
     
  7. PeteNJ

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    Relationships happen when you meet other people. Its really a numbers game -- for instance -- attend LGBT meetings, meetings on political issues important to you, hiking, biking clubs, book clubs, photography club, video gamers, church, etc etc. In my area meetup is a great way to find local groups that do stuff you'd like to be a part of (both gay and straight).

    Yes, you can use hook up apps. It is fun to see what's in the candy jar near you of course. And I know guys who have found boyfriends that way. If that's what you want, be really clear in your profile. You don't have to respond to every guy who wants only quick sex if you don't want to.

    Being alone and lonely is no fun. Do stuff with people.

    Lastly -- whatever you do - do it because its fun to YOU!