1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

So I'm unpacking my boyfriends stuff...

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Boyfriend, Apr 6, 2013.

  1. Boyfriend

    Boyfriend Guest

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2013
    Messages:
    634
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Nevada
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Since my boyfriend didn't want to go there and get it (for several reasons), his ex has sent the stuff that was still there.
    My boyfriend is in hospital and it's not likely he'll come home soon and the boxes have already been sitting here for weeks and are kind of in the way and cause we only have known eachother for a few months and I thought it was a good way to get to know him better, so I started to unpack.
    Now I wish I hadn't.
    There were a few dresses and shoes that go with them, clearly his size (and he'd look darn cute in it too) and now I'm totally thrown. I don't know what to make of it.
    Since I can't ask him (he's unresponsive), who should I turn to? His ex? I know he is a nice and considerate man, but I don't feel comfortable talking to him; or one of his best friends ( I am in touch with them)?
    Or just wait until he has recovered enough and has his memory back? (In which case I will probably go crazy making up stuff just to get answers).
    :help:
     
  2. Sunshine Cries

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2013
    Messages:
    82
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    CO
    Hey. I remember your introduction post. I've never known anyone in a coma, does unresponsive mean unconscious or...? And you mentioned his memory coming back - I really hope he'll remember you. *hugs*

    I'd say stay calm. If you don't feel comfortable with talking to his ex or friends, don't do it. You should never put yourself in a situation as nerve-racking as that, especially in a stressful situation like yours.

    And if he's recovered enough, then don't make up stuff. It's not fair to him, and you probably won't feel right about it later. Stay calm, take a few breaths, maybe write down what you'll say to him. You'll be overcome by emotions, but keep yourself composed, too. If he's coming out of a coma, he could be confused, and going crazy due to your own feelings can really scare people - I've learned that the hard way.

    This might be a shit thing to say, and don't listen to me if you don't like it: but love is patient, and love is kind, even if it is a REAL pain in the ass at first. (That phrase has literally kept me alive for the past year.) I think your boyfriend is going to regain consciousness, if he hasn't obtained it already, and he's going to remember it. I'm hoping the best for you. <3

    ~Sunshine
     
  3. theMaverick

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2012
    Messages:
    963
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    DFWTX
    I'd just wait for him to explain it. Don't go searching for answers, they may not be true. I hope your boyfriend recovers.
     
  4. Boyfriend

    Boyfriend Guest

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2013
    Messages:
    634
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Nevada
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Sunshine Cries: I meant making up stuff in my mind in the meantime to make it somewhat okay (like "he must have a cousin that stayed over and she left her clothes"-) until I get real answers. I'm sorry that wasn't clear.
    Not to him. I'd never do that.

    He is officially out of the coma, but sedated and sleeps most of the time and when he opens his eyes it is not like he is totally awake. He does communicate sometimes though, through handsqueezing, but just yes and no and he doesn't seem to understand everything we say. I don't think this is the time to bring up anything else than "I love you" and "it's okay, don't be scared" and "are you comfortable?" and such. I still get excited when he simply responses to "can you hear me?" or "can you feel that?"...

    I am a bit scared for what will follow now. But again I got my parents for support which is great.

    ---------- Post added 6th Apr 2013 at 09:00 AM ----------

    Thanks.

    But is is so hard to not know!
     
  5. theMaverick

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2012
    Messages:
    963
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    DFWTX
    That's wonderful that he is out of the coma. Coma's hit close to home for me, and I know how horrible it is to look at someone and not be certain if they'll ever wake up again.
     
  6. Boyfriend

    Boyfriend Guest

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2013
    Messages:
    634
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Nevada
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I'm sorry you been through that too. It IS horrible.

    But now it is still like HOW will he end up. Like: Will he be able to walk and talk? Remember me? Speak English (he's tri-langual and I don't speak the other two)? And I know that often there is a peronalitychange...