Sorry if this is in the wrong place, I flip-flopped for a while. Today my friend (much older and ultra wise/worldly/intuitive) asked me if somebody has hurt me. I knew exactly what she meant; sexual abuse. I started to answer but saying no felt like a lie so I avoided answering. Why on earth would that feel like a lie?! I have a feeling next time I see her she'll try to get me to answer that question, and I want to be able to tell her the truth. I have searched my brain best I can and haven’t come up with a real reason/instance. All I came up with is that I click really well with the minds of the few people I know who have been abused. I get where they come from majority of the time, like why they behave certain ways and such. Why, why, why would my conscience think answering no is the wrong response? I’ve always known to not let anybody touch me without permission and have been protective of my personal space, so I can’t see my younger self having blocked something instead of telling. (And I know lots of people know when someone had crossed a boundary with them but don’t speak up out of shame. That’s not really my style.)
It's really dangerous for anyone to insist to you or even encourage the idea that you might have been abused. And that's a very personal question so it is perfectly reasonable to say to your "friend" that you haven't been and don't wish to discuss that topic. Is it possible you've been abused and blocked out the memory? Yes, absolutely. But there's no way at this point to know, and if it's blocked, it's blocked, so no amount of trying to remember it will bring it back. So the best advice I can give you is to not worry about it. Absent any information to support the idea you've been abused, you likely have not been, and if at some point you get memories or inklings... then you can deal with it at that point. But obsessing over it is really unwise as that can lead to creating an idea in your mind that something happened when it didn't.
I actually have one weird thing that came up before her question, and since "bedtime" is approaching I remembered it. It's only when in my room, but I think it's more a ghost projection thing anyway. (I don't know how to describe it past being held down tight. I ignore it when it comes, because the person I "see" is not me, she is older.) That’s why this bothered me earlier. Not her question, but the memories thing. She’d never push the idea of it and would indeed drop it if I asked. I have dismissed this for more important thoughts, though that no feeling like a lie is still just plain odd lol. Thanks for the response, Chip. You’re very right.
At the risk of being ripped on by any of the athiest/skeptic/rational thinker types... I've talked to a number of people who have had experiences with non-incarnate spirit entities (or "ghosts") and know a bit about that subject. The short answer I can give you is, with very rare exceptions, it's nothing to be scared of, and if you can actually see something, it's very likely it's someone there for positive, not harmful, reasons. It's also unlikely that has any connection to a buried thought about abuse.
As one of those atheist/skeptic/rational thinker types, I'm more inclined to see it as something similar to sleep paralysis, though that's usually a more distressing experience than what you describe, from what I've heard.
I’m a ghost person big time lol, in positive not "oh my god run!" but I do have a slight sleep issue. All right, I’m better now I think. Thanks to you both!
you know i was abused as a child by my brother. I never saw it as abuse, b/c I told myself I wouldnt let it get to me, and to be strong. Guess what, 10 years later when I was 25, I realized how badly it had affected me. (socially, mentally, relationships) Maybe you aren't trying to suppress it: maybe you don't realize that you underwent abuse, and your best friend is allowing you to categorize it as such so you can heal. I think its awesome that she's asking. Maybe she sees some behavior in you that's odd around a particular topic and trying to find out why that subject illicit a particular response in you. I'm just going out on a limb here from my personal experience and trying to apply it to your situation. I think it could be beneficial to open up to your friend. The more I talk about my story, the stronger I feel I become. It helps me move past it, and reflect on the matter, and help myself realize that I cannot blame myself for my past: I did the best that I could. I share my story b/c I feel its an example for people I know personally to learn what I went through, so they can prevent someone else from undergoing the same abuse if they see it. (B/c remember, I didnt see it as abuse for 10 years) oh, and by no means am I telling you to broadcast your past abuse. just sharing my experience, and letting you know it could be good for you to open up to your best friend if you know she is trustworthy.
