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I don't think I want to be with my Boyfriend anymore.

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by SriManayaDasan, Apr 12, 2013.

  1. We've been together for about 2 and a half years (would be three, but we actually split for 6 months, then got back together), but I'm not sure if I want to be with him anymore.

    I'm 22 and he is 24, he works all the time and we barley have time for each other anymore. I've asked if he could take some day shifts (he works all night shifts and I go to school in the day), but he said that he prefers nights because it is easier on him. He gets paid the same, but technically does less work. At most, we may get a day and a half together on any given week.

    I'm also going for a Masters degree in a field that no school in my area has. I've looked into online schools, but I don't think many schools have post-graduate courses; as many require labs and field work. I've tried to discuss with him about leaving for post-grad and he got hot under the collar and practically yelled at me at why I couldn't just stay with him and go to school online. At this point for my Masters, I'm 95% sure I'm going to have to leave for it.

    It's also to the point where I can see myself with him, but I would also have no issue breaking up with him. He's still head over heels for me, and would do anything for me, but I don't think I have those feelings for him anymore. I don't have a well paying job, so getting an apartment is out of the question. I made about $6,800 last year, which really isn't enough for an apartment that's not in the middle of the ghetto. I would go back to living with my parents, but they live in a small 2 1/2 bedroom, 1 1/2 bathroom house and, due to legal circumstances, my sister and her five kids currently live with them.

    I really need some advice. I've thought about staying with him until my sister and her kids move out (which would be within a few months or so), but that is flat-out manipulation. I feel as if I wouldn't be in a good place either way: Break up with him now and go back to an over-crowed, unhappy house. Or stay with him until said house is less crowed, but drag it out further and hurt him more.
     
    #1 SriManayaDasan, Apr 12, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 12, 2013
  2. asmith6543

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    if your post grad education is important to you, especially if you wont get a job w/o masters, then definitely do what you have to. He really should be more understanding. Online schools are definitely not for everyone. He seems to think working at night and never seeing you is okay, b/c its easier on him. But apparently, you're not allowed any accommodations. :icon_sad:
     
  3. The thing is, he does seem to care, as when we are together he does what he can to make sure it's a good time. However, it also seems like taking the night shift is an easy route to make his job easier. Which is understandable, but I'm just not sure.
     
  4. catatonie

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    There's always roommates.
     
  5. Femmeme

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    Anything but occasionally alter his work schedule or support you in you academic career...

    Does your school have non traditional housing available? Another option would be to start searching the newspapers and Craigslist for someone looking for a room mate.
     
  6. LookingGlass

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    Being in a relationship means that both parties must be able and willing to compromise for each other. Getting your Master's is very important and I'm sure your boyfriend is happy for you, but if he isn't willing to adjust in order to see that you get it then it might be time to break it off. Your education is too big a deal.

    Now, don't just go and lay down an ultimatum. Sit and discuss this. Try to figure out why he is against moving. Express how important getting your Master's degree is, but let him know that you want him right there with you. Include him. Work and come up with a plan of action to tackle this. Moving is a great experience, hard work, but really fun and rewarding for two people in a relationship.

    Figure out what's bugging him first. Maybe he's just afraid of relocating or just too comfortable where he is now. Communication is key. If you love your boyfriend, then you'll most certainly want and need him with you. So tell him that.
     
  7. lull23

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    Getting a good Masters will change your career opportunities for the rest of your life. You're 22 - think you're still going to be with this guy in 20+ years when you're still furthering your career?

    I won't say you should leave him for - I will say you need to think what is the best for you in the long-term. Is the short-term pain of a breakup with a guy you're not even sure you want to be with worth the long-term gain of having a good education and ultimately enhancing your career.