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Not sure what to do

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by 341, Apr 14, 2013.

  1. 341

    341
    Regular Member

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    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Once I came out things were a bit easier in general, but this is around family, etc. Every time I meet somebody who is gay they seem very judgemental, and say that I'm not very gay or something? :confused:

    Are all gay people like this? Should I just pretend I turned straight? :eusa_liar

    I thought gay people would be less judgemental, but they seem to judge me on every other aspect besides sexuality. At least with straight people they only judge my sexuality. I just feel I don't belong with straight or gay people... :icon_sad:

    I was considering pretending I'm bisexual, but I'm really exclusively homosexual.
     
  2. Munyal

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    There will be kind people and mean people everywhere. I've learned not to judge people by their appearance, and whoever does that is just ignorant. You do not need to pretend to be straight. Be you, and if even other gay people can't accept that, than it is their loss.
     
  3. greatwhale

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Montreal
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    The only cure is to meet more gay people. Fact is, of all the people you meet, only 10 out of a 100 are likely to be gay, you need to get to know a few more before your yourself make a judgment about a very large and diverse group of people.
     
  4. AKTodd

    Full Member

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    Gay people are a very diverse bunch and some act 'gay' (meaning come closer to the stereotype) and others very much don't. Some people are going to be jerks about that sort of thing (unfortunately a common stereotype that too many of us happen to fit is being 'bi***y') and many others won't.

    Given your posted age, there may also be the added element of 'high school drama' if that's the age range/maturity level of the other gay people you are meeting. There may also be some resentment if you are able to 'pass' as straight and therefore supposedly accrue benefits from that that they can't partake of. This particular issue has been debated on EC a few times since I've been here so likely many opinions on it, but just throwing it out there as another possible factor.

    Behave in whatever manner you are comfortable with and don't let them get you down. If they give you grief about it, politely but firmly tell them you came out to be yourself, not to just trade one set of 'expected' behaviors for another. Then go be yourself. It will pay big dividends as you continue through life.

    Hope this helps,

    Todd :smilewave
     
  5. Night Rain

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    Them being gay doesn't guarantee they're nice. Of a few gay guys I know, one is really nasty and one is very immature and flamboyant. :slight_smile:

    At your age, many gay people remain in the closet, so the fully out gay peers don't really represent the whole gay population. And teenagers usually aren't really mature, so don't pay attention to them much.