So, there's this guy in my class. The first time ever I saw him about 1.5 years ago my initial reaction was "that guy is gay, no doubts". But I'm very confused after seeing how he acts and talks and I really can't tell anymore if he is in the closet or just a flamboyant straight guy. I'll list the reasons why I suspect he might be gay. 1. He has very loose wrists which is kinda stereotypical for gay people. He has great posture almost to the extent that his back bends backwards, and on top of that he walks a wee bit "gayly". 2. He smiles for no reason when I talk to him which makes me even more suspicious since I do the same thing when I talk to people I have a crush on, and I know people who actually have told me they have a crush on me do the same thing. 3. He never really tell gay jokes or anything, which is weird, since most guys I know are very insistent on joking about sexuality all the time, but he on the other hand is very reluctant. Gay people don't often joke about being gay in fear of being outed as I understand it. But I have had doubts about my presumption since I got to know him. There was this party once, and he was all over this one girl, and talking about having sex with her and stuff. But later that evening he just stopped hanging around her for no reason and started acting very depressed. I know this girl well, and she has told me afterwards that she wanted to have sex with him but that he (didn't want to..?) Can't remember, but it was something like that. Then there is the fact that he always acts like a player and talk about all the girls he has been with. The funny thing though is I've spoken to some friends, girls (great at gossiping), and they've told me they have never actually heard anything about him having been with a girl. I have no doubts that he has probably been with a girl sometime. It's just the way he talks about it that makes me wonder if he is doing it to hide his true identity? I should mention he has said his confidence is bad. And yet he looks great, he is tall has, a great family and supposedly "has been with many girls". Makes me wonder why his confident would be bad...? I really want to know if this guy is gay, so I might actually have someone to talk to. There aren't really any gay people at my school as of now, that I know of, so if he turns out to be gay that would be great.
It would be impossible for us to really tell you of he's gay or not, but the fact that he is "flamboyant" and doesn't tell gay jokes make him a pretty good candidate for becoming an understanding, nonjudgmental friend regardless of his orientation... which, honestly maybe something he hasn't figured out yet. I suggest getting to know him better and seeing if he's someone you can be close friends with, without worrying about whether he's gay or not.
I guess I could try getting to know him better. The only time we really talk or hang out it's either at a party or when we're gaming. We don't live very close to each other. And even if I manage to find a way to see him after school hours, what should we do..? I'm really bad at making new friends. It might have been stupid of me to start this thread, but I really just feel like I need someone I can talk to that I also can relate to. There really isn't anyone like that in my life right now.
I don't think it was stupid to start this thread, I completely understand where you're coming from and why you want to know. It's just that there's no way for us to help... Let me ask this, if you knew for sure that he was gay what would you do? Gay or not you have to find a way to make friends with him and get to know before you'll know if he's someone you can trust or rely on. You two game together, how about finding something related to that you can invite him to do with you?
I know it wouldn't really make a big of a difference if he is gay or not. I just wish there was at least someone at my school that was gay. I feel so lonely. There probably are gay people at my school only no one is out. I just wish there was someone that was out whom I could talk to. I know it might sound kinda dumb, but I feel like I would trust a gay person more with the whole coming out thing because they know how it feels like themselves. :/ I don't know what interests we share. I guess I could invite him more often to hang out with me and my friends and go from there. And maybe skype more with him I guess. I do skype with him for games and stuff but we don't really talk about anything else.
