Hi guys, I'm 25, closeted, have dated around 8-10 guys over coffee/movies and recently, my hormones have started acting up and I feel it's high time to have some real action and stuff. I have made out with 2-3 guys before in the past and although, the kissing and cuddling is fun (NOT A LOT BUT STILL), I don't get a hard-on at all once the clothes are off. I've never had anal sex but I gave my first oral to a guy today and that didn't feel anything great either. He came pretty fast but I obv couldn't and it feels embarassing. It was the same way with the last guy I made out with (who was actually the first one I made out with). It feels so exciting and tempting while watching it in porn, but in real, it feels absolutely nothing! What's wrong with me?
To be honest, it sounds to me like you've been basing sex on porn. Sex isn't anything like porn, porn is simply supposed to be highly arousing to get your attention. In reality, having sex like in porn would not be as good as it looks, it would hurt and generally be highly uncomfortable. You probably just went into sex with expectations, then those expectations weren't met so you weren't really aroused, disappointed is a word that comes to mind. Lexington has made posts before about being careful with porn, as if you watch it every time you masturbate your mind eventually becomes accustomed to it, and it can be very difficult to be aroused and/or ejaculate without porn. If you're still masturbating with porn, don't. Just stop it completely and get used to imagination, as that is a huge part of sex. If your mind isn't there, you wont orgasm, simple as that. All the best.
Thanks! I watch porn almost everyday, maybe 4-5 times a day sometimes. And yes, although it's hard to get aroused without porn, I do get aroused by fantasizing some acquaintances regularly and it feels pretty good. One thing I forgot to mention is when I'm alone in bed, I never use my hand but rather just rub off in bed because I find it much more fun. While in real sex, I obv can't do that. So could that be a reason for not getting the hard-ons in real? Because when he tried to give me an oral, I did get a lil hard. Maybe I'm a top and need to try out some anal to see if that makes me hard?
Fuck man, you sound like me. Good luck ha... ---------- Post added 19th Apr 2013 at 10:23 AM ---------- Do you mean you are humping the bed? Because that can mess with your sexual mind. There are a lot of studies about that kind of masturbation and its negative effects on sexual arousal with real people.
