Now that I posted that intro and feel so old compared to so many younger members, not that old but not in my 20s either. Sad. At work I am crushing on this woman that is out and although she is out I cant for the life of me figure her out. I know she probably can say thesame about me and at work she keeps her personal life very secretive like but not really. I mean she doesnt want anyone to know she is gay I guess, no, she doesnt flaunt it. I dont know, all I know is we hqve this thing going back and forth forever and a day now where we cannot pass without that eye contact thing. Caught her watching me, looking for me, and literally bumped into her in several times coming in and out of the bathroom last time her reaching out touching me when it wasnt necessary to stop me from flying, just that touch thing going. Caught her on the phone and I so badly just wanted to say I want you, lets cut this crap and go out for a few drinks already. Its ok, I am what you think I am and I am wanting to know you better in many ways for so long now! Do not want to make an ass out of myself, how do I know if she is interested by what little I have to go on? Which is her constant need to do the eye contact thing, look for me, and now this touch thing? Guy meets girl, easy. Girl meets girl, so hard. Is she, isnt she, do I dont I? The second I laid eyes on her for the first time I was for better words crushing on her. Cant take this. One way or the other I want this over wishfully with her in my arms.
Don't worry about feeling older than some of the other members, we have a pretty active group of people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s... and I'm pretty sure there's at least person in their 60s floating around. I'm 37 and just became a member and started the coming out process about a month ago. Now, about that woman... I suggest thinking about it the same way you would if you were just looking to make a friend. Talk to her more, figure out what you're both interested in and then find an activity related to whatever that is and ask her to go with you. I'd suggest something other than drinks though, not that I have a single thing against booze, but if you're feeling awkward or shy the pressure to come up with things to talk about can be hard. The same goes for coffee dates. If you're walking around doing something (zoo, museum, fair, mini golf etc.) it takes some of the pressure and expectation off AND gives you something to talk about so those awkward pauses don't happen.
Talk to her and be friendly. If you're really bold, see if she wants to go get coffee after work or eat lunch together during lunch time. Strike up a conversation about good food, happen to ask her what her favorite food is, recommend a place nearby that is related and see if she wants to go with you. If you've never had the type of food she likes before, show that you really would love to try that some time and suggest she come along so you know what to get. Be a little creative. If she's interested, she'll jump at the opportunity.
I was thinking the booze would lift inhibitions a bit and loosened the atmosphere a little. She seems shy and quite, put a few drinks in me Im good to go. Bad thinking, your probably so right fem, especially if it leads us to rushing into the physical thing, one night stand then we would have a fake situation. You both have good thoughts. I was thinking playing the damsel in distress and create a minor disaster where I would need help, aka hers.... Seriuosly though this would be so much easier if maybe she knew what she is suspecting I am is right on. Maybe she does know, I mean why else would she be locking eyes with me all of the time, she doesnt do this with others.
She either a) thinks you're gorgeous b) has a crush on you AND thinks you're gorgeous most likely b) because she's making eye contact with you. she's probably too shy to flirt and unsure of whether YOU are interested.
Think so? There have been a few times Im doing my thing at work and we she is coming my way or in my space and gets nervous like apologizing and moves out of my way. We all get in our space all of the time, fast paced job, its different when it happens with her. Then the time we are like between 2 doors in dark walkway and that touching thing. Nervous cuz shes shy and wants to ask me but in the dark it made her more courageous? If this were anyone else I seriously would brush it off, laugh about it but its Her! Dam I dont want to look like an and make an ass out of myself, wish she would just break the ice and make the first move. ---------- Post added 23rd Apr 2013 at 04:40 AM ---------- Oh that eye contact thing, Im saying, this is a constant thing between us. I have never been near her or in passing when it hasnt happened. I have been watching closely to see if thats just her with others, not. Its the look that melts me everytime. Wondering all the time too scared to do anything about it. I guess Im shy too.
This is EXAXTLY how I act when I have a crush on someone. I'm generally not a shy person, because I'm very outgoing and extroverted. But I get so nervous and shy when I'm around someone I like. When I get too close to them in a cramped spot, I always apologize and get nervous. I know a lot about romantic interest, and I truly think this girl likes you.
Im liking all of this positive feedback. Honestly, my stomach has been getting all jumpy lately as well. The same feelings I have been having all of my life, well since 10! Its not because I want to just jump her bones and be over it. i truly like her alot in a genuine way, the sex thing, well, Im old school and there has to be more than lust behind my motive to going to bed with someone. I try to give myself that much cuz Im already hard on myself because of who I am and ashamed cuz as much as gay is out and ok for the most part in society, atleast hoping it is, I feel bad about who I really am inside. No one will accept this in my circle of friends and family except the new friends I have made who my family does not approve. But I like her so much to the point I dont care what they will think or say. Thats genuine like. Who am I kidding, she would have to peel me off of her to uphold my values as a person. But I have been told, cautioned once you have sex it is serious with girls. No going back only fwd. I wnt to know and have her as a person first but I can gaurantee I will give it all I have to keep her happy. Cart before the horse, I dont even know if Im reading her right. We have many gay people where I work and if it were a lust thing I would be having this w other girls. I dont, just her. Eye candy has to be ok for now cuz Im just as chickenshit and if I could just get past it then maybe. Maybe I should just magically bump into her in that dark hallway between doors and just grab ahold of her, worked on the lword. Im sorry, found here just last nite and dont even feeo ok saying this in therapy. Mostly cuz i fear she might think Im checking her out, so not the case. Which just says, I really really want to break the ice and end this torture. Has to be just as bad for her.
Oh sugar, your therapist won't be worried about you checking her out. Talk to her, she can help you deal with your internalized homophobia. (*hug*)
