Why did this girl keep calling me a lesbian in 5th grade?

Maybe that girl was a lesbian herself and was afraid of being outed so she shifted the focus to you so no one would point the finger of blame on her.

Maybe she picked up on it, but I doubt that. She would have had to have had one heck of a fine tuned gaydar.

I wouldn't let some little twerp's mean bullying affect you. Be YOU, be free

 

My guess is it's sheer coincidence. She was homophobic and decided to claim you were lesbian on little/no evidence, and just happened to guess right.

Bullying sucks.

 

Well... Some people have been known to bully others with their perceived orientations as a front, regardless of whether the taunts and slurs and insults are true or not. Ex. George bullies Peter, saying Peter is gay, when George deep down is scared to come to terms with the fact that he himself is gay.

She may have just thought it'd be fun or cool to bully someone with that word. It's a foreign-soundng word, just in the way it sounds, and all, so there's that, too.

About finding comfort in other people being gay... Some people who are confused or in denial don't like other gay people. She may or may not have liked other girls, though, but it's just a possibility.

As Ettina has said, it was perhaps just a coincidence that she was right.

It sounds like this has been a problem for you, whether you were and are consciously aware of it or not. Now that you've identified a root (Or maybe it is the sole root, so to speak) of your problem, it can be easier to let go of it. It's the past, it sucked, but... As you have done, and perhaps will continue to do, dealing with it and accepting it, no matter how unfortunate it was, will allow you to fully get over it. We're here for you if you need us =)

 

Just did the day of silence at my school. You should talk to your school about it.

 

Speaking as someone who called other girls gay at school at aged 9 -10 to my friends (never to their face) and then came out later, she could have easily been doing it to cover her tracks, you said you would have felt relief at not being the only gay kid at school , but when your that young you may not even now what your really saying and what your sexuality is meant to be. When I was young and with my conservative upbringing I just thought of gay as a bad word almost like when people call other fat even if their skinny its not really about the sexuality its just a bad word that makes the person saying it feel better about themselves being a bitchy kid to their friends in order to fit in. When reached 13/14 I did call girls gay to my friends and I knew what it meant and that was to distract attention away from myself but then I got it done to me a couple of years later when I had accepted it about myself but not told anyone yet I was called a lesbian by a girl at school who had been called it herself and was trying to distract attention away from herself and managed to pick someone who was actually gay. My point is she could have been doing it to seem cool and because that's what everyone did or to cover up her own feelings that she wasn't or mayby she was aware of

 

First, you have not gone through adolescence yet. I would not label you gay, lesbian, or even straight. You are a young girl. As far as the label this happened in one of my schools this summer. A student told m that this other boy called him gay. I asked him is this statement true. He said no. So, does really matter if he called you straight or gay if it is not the truth. He said no. Then ignore him. The more you respond the more you give them power. If you can ignore them and walk away.

 

This is often true. Not only that, kids are mean, and always will be in a school setting. It seems like it's about dominance and establishing a social order. Kids will pick out whatever they think is less than perfect about someone and start in on them. In history, we have people who overcame these obstacles and became great people and people who did not, to lead regular lives or who suffered later because of this. I'd let it go at this point. There's way too much ahead of you to worry about this, though I too think of things that happen in the past and how they've affected me. They've been like anchors in some ways.

OP, if I can say one thing, you must be very smart because your English is great, and it doesn't sound like you've spent much time in the U.K. or other places English is spoken.

 

Some girls are just bitchy. I was never bullied by being called gay/lesbian but many other words were used coupled with exclusion, like you. She could have been gay but the real issue is how she made you feel. When, and after I was bullied, I completely changed the way I acted, walked, looked to fit in as well. It still affects me and was one of the main reasons I became depressed. But I can tell you from experience that taking control back from those girls by being yourself feels amazing.

It's liberating and eventually (I've been working on it for almost 2 years now) you can openly be yourself. That girl was horrible and mean and rude and she doesn't deserve to rule your life still. You are not stupid, you didn't have to know at that age. I didn't. Lots of people don't.

I'm terrified of being outed in public but I have a few friends who act waaayyy gayer than me and are straight with long term boyfriends. So whatever you think is going to out you is probably nothing. Pay attention to how the people around you act around the same sex and don't cross that line. That's what I do!

I'm sorry that girl was such a bitch and had such an impact on your life. I really hope you feel better. (*hug*)

 

I got called a dyke in the fifth grade by some girl I barely knew. She hardly knew what the word meant, and neither did I, so it never really bothered me. (The thing that did hurt was when I confronted the bus driver about it. I told him what she said and he paused before ignoring me, as though he would've responded to anything other than "dyke.")

I think for a lot of kids that age it's just a brand new "dirty word" they can use. This happens in families and social circles where words like gay and lesbian are spoken of in frowns and hushed tones. From them, kids pick up the idea that it's something inappropriate and gross, and it becomes their new favorite swear word for insulting others.

 

Similar things happened to me all through secondary school, college and starting work until I finally admitted that they were all right and came out.

Maybe people knew and maybe some of them were lucky guesses, but the fact is that everytime they said it it did make me question myself a little bit and I'm pretty sure that straight people never think of that.

Overall though even though none of my friends were surprised when I did come out, none of them could pin the reason why down to one thing so prehaps it is true that with some people you can just know.

Jst a thought