I've been considering therapy/counseling. Assuming, of course, I can find a "budget friendly" solution. (I've got some leads.) Also this assumes I can overcome the stigma of therapy. This is not easy in our society. It's also not easy given the family I grew up in, that, at one point, had a policy of Stay Silent About Our Problems! It's also not easy with my family of today, with cousins in my extended family who seem to have their lives 100% together. I know intellectually that therapy might be a necessary step. But emotionally accepting that... Anyone else go through this? Any brilliant insights?
Who needs to know? I highly recommend it. That person sitting across from you will be non judgemental and be the one person on your side and your side alone. Once you build trust believe me it is life saving. I was close to suicidal and without my therapist I dont know if I would have made it. Suicidal due to who I am inside does not match who I pretend to be on the outside to please everyone around me. I am almost there, Im ready to say screw them all, Im finding myself a gf and for the first time in my entire life Am going to be happy and free. Thats my goal anyway. Give it a try, you dont have to go back but I bet you will. Tell all those around you you are going to the gym. Screw them, take care of you!
Nothing wrong with getting a help hand. Either you'll be in a better place or you'll be where you are now, how could it hurt?
"Who seem to have their lives together." Seem - there you go. They might look like it but they could be battling huge demons. The best thing I can say is - find the best person you can. Do some research. As others have said on here, the best could cost $100...or $25. The worst could cost $10... Or $500. Also, if you can find someone who is in an office or private practice, that would be nice. It might be more money, but I'm not sure what your options are. I started at a place that had a locked security door that had to be opened only when the therapist was coming to get you. To me, it freaked me out! I was like "who is coming here?" Best of luck, ok? I know it's a huge step.
Would it help to know that there exist therapists who ONLY have other therapists as clients? Meaning even the "experts" sometimes go to therapy. IMO It's awesome to have an impartial person available as a sounding board at the very least.
I can definitely recommend having a therapist! I have been in therapy for eating disorders (mainly anorexia), depression, severe panic attacks and low self worth stuff etc. I'm still seeing my therapist even though I'm doing fine now - but it's still great to have someone to talk to about your problems etc. And your therapist -as already mentioned- is always a 100% on your side. And for me it's also the fact that I know someone's there for me, I can always call her if it's about something I don't feel comfortable talking about with my family and/or friends. Also, a second opinion never hurts. Asking for help (in your case getting a therapist) is never a sign of weakness - it's a sign of strength. It often takes a lot of courage to realize you can't deal with something on your own and ask for help. But the thing is - you don't have to deal with everything on your own, it's okay to need help. It's not weak, it's nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone needs help sometimes. I know that there's this whole stigma of being in therapy, some people thinking everyone who goes to a therapist is a complete nutcase etc. - but you know what? You'd be surprised how many people are in therapy, people you work with, the nice neighbour from across the street, the teenaged son of your best friend... It's just something people usually don't advertise. When I first started seeing my therapist my parents told me about some of their friends who were or had been in therapy to take away my fear of being a nutcase for needing it. They told me about a friend who's wife and child had died in a car accident, about the son of a friend, about my dads best friend and about one of his colleagues - and you know what? I knew all of these people and I had never thought of them being weird or anything. So I figured - I'm not weird either :lol: I realized it's a totally normal and healthy thing - people just don't talk about it that much, probably because of aforementioned stigma but it's usually not a topic that is brought up in normal conversations that much as well. Besides - you don't need to tell everybody. The only people who know that I'm in therapy are my mom and dad, one of my aunts and a guy friend of mine (he's the only one out of a group of about 15 really close friends I've known since kindergarten). It's not like you're wearing a sign around your neck that says 'I'm in therapy, now you all have to think I'm a nutcase!' and it's not written on your forehead either :lol: Usually, to give people that information you actually have to kinda anounce it because it simply doesn't come up in most everyday conversations unless someone is struggling her/himself and asks you for an opinion or you tell them about your experiences.
Actually, therapists are more likely to be messed up than the general population. A lot of people go into psychology to figure out what's wrong with them.
Thanks for the answers so far! I now remembering having heard this before. At this point, Keep It Cheap is pretty much my only option. I think I remember this one. Not personally, but when my parent's marriage fell apart, my mother went to (I think) a psychiatrist. And I remember going along one time, although I waited in the waiting room. That waiting room was spooky...small, dim, prison cell like. And the door was a solid door. If I recall right, the procedure was to wait until the door was unlocked by some unseen person at your appointment time. I have heard that "ideally" it's set so you never see any other patients/clients. Not sure how important that really is--I guess it really doesn't bother me being seen by someone I don't know. Even though I have this stigma issue, I guess if I get seen by another client, it doesn't matter, since we're both coming for a reason. It's sort of like the men's room, I guess--ignore the other guys, and know that we're all there for a reason we don't really want to discuss. Well, this is a good point, and one that I have considered. My one fear (which I mentioned on another thread) is that if I start this process it might stir things up, and, if the therapist/counselor doesn't work out, might actually make matters worse. I'm giving serious thought to having a Plan B at the outset, just to be on the safe side. I know this "stirring up" sounds a little paranoid, but it's happened with one part of my life. I learned to swim as an adult, after a life of fear of water. I had 2 attempts in one summer. Attempt #1 failed (although it was because the learning approach had serious flaws). I thought I'd shelve the program, but so much subconscious junk got stirred up (including a terrifying panic attack when driving over a bridge). Thank God the second attempt worked out. Unfortunately, I know...and I'm my worst critic. One issue I really need to work on... I remember this advice before when I was learning to swim (see earlier in this long post). One teacher I talked to said that she recommended to fearful learners that they just try 1/2 hour. That seems more manageable than saying, "I need to sign up for a month of lessons!" Typically, she said, most people realized with that 1/2 hour they could actually learn.
