I just came out on facebook as ASEXUAL, I thought I was bi and came out as that before(no one took it seriously :'s) and told everyone that I'm demi/panromantic, I got support from my friends and they were understanding but my mom was furious and was shouting and cursing and even if I have been through this before it really do hurt, She's angry that I actually told people that I'm not 'normal' <- she's really homophobic and have been hating that I have been posting straight ally pictures and so on, and are happy over the rights are changing in other places all over the world. My mum have been asking me if I was gay/lesbian, many many many times and I haven't been sure myself, but then I found out about grey asexuality and demiromantic and panromantic and now everything makes sense because I have no sex drive or what to say(english isn't my first language) but I have been in love with girls, as well as boys and everything is about connection for me. I'm fine by this, I'm really happy to find out what I really am and finding a term that describe my feelings but why can't my parents support me? I hate it, I have been so sad about this and shedded so many tears.. I'm proud of who I am, and I support HBTQ rights and that's what started rumours about my sexuality, that's what made people and myself question it. I also hate that people believe that you can only be gay or straight, or bi. My mom asked me that.. I told her about it, and she still asked me that.. Why, just why, can't my mom just be happy for me just one time? Sorry if it's the wrong forum, I jsut need to get this out and I hope someone have some ideas or support for me.. Feeling so alone over this.. :icon_sad:
I'm very sorry that your mom is reacting this way . It may just take her awhile longer to accept this part of who you are, as frustrating as that is. I am glad that you are proud of who you are! That will take you far. Your mom will have to address her intolerant views at some point, and you staying positive and strong about who you are will probably be a good influence on her. Also, know that you are not alone (*hug*).
In your position, I'd tell her that if she was only going to use her access to your facebook to be intolerant, she doesn't deserve it. Then remove her from your friends list until she stops. And (politely) refuse to answer questions that aren't well meaning. Hopefully, she'll come around and start to realise she's the one distancing herself from you, and she'll reconsider her beliefs.
I have been in denial, wondering 'what's wrong' with me and so on until I found out about this and I feel a lot better myself, but my mum was really angry.. I know that about her, I didn't expect anything else and that's what so sad.. My mum never hugged me and so on when I was younger, not even when I was sick, and she have actually been doing really awful stuff towards my dad too which makes my family enemies against each other but I don't want it to be this way.. And sometimes I feel they didn't even want me, but they have 2 other children so I don't know.. Always hearing insults and disparaging comments about everything I ever do.. I never get support not in this, not in school and so on.. It really hurts and makes life's harder, been struggling with depression for years, been trying to tell my parents about that too but they simply don't want to understand.. Even been cutting and they just scream about it and make me feel really ugly all the time.. This, and bullying at the same time is awful.. Sorry for being so emotional, but I have no friends that will understand this or are comfortable to talk about these things with..
No need to apologize for being emotional. That's not a fun environment to be in where you feel like you're misunderstood and neglected . I am sure that even if you can't talk to your friends about this particular issue, they care very much about you. And we care here on EC and hope that you feel comfortable here being yourself . I hope you can find another environment soon to get away from being bullied and insulted for no reason. Is there an LGBT support group or anything you can go to when you need a break from home?
No, I live in a really small city with different kind of pressure everywhere.. I hope they do, at least some of them.. It's kind of complicated even there.. One of my friends used to bully me when we were younger so..
Hm, I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to have your mother not accept your sexuality, or call you "not normal", but try getting some comfort from the fact that right now you might be forced to spend a lot of time with and near her, but when you grow older you`ll have so many choices. You can move to a different city, get to know new people, have the kind of life you want, and decide for yourself who gets to be a part of that life and how big a part. When your mother realizes she might lose you over her narrow mind, hopefully she`ll get over herself and change her behavior. Until then, just try to mirror it away. Normal is an illusion of the A4 we think everyone else is, or at least a majority. Considering how many groups of different people there are out there, normal is a redundant illusion at best. Completely irrelevant. Normal is being an unique part of a multi-faceted diamond of people with every possible back grounds and natures. So be proud of who you are, and remember that sexuality isn`t all of what we are. It`s a part of us, but it doesn`t define us nor our value. All it does is determine who we spend our life with, in your case it could be anyone, possibly another person with a low sex drive. It could also be that as you grow older and meet new people, you`ll find someone who`ll wake up your sex drive a bit. Or not. People have lived in relationship where sex has played a small or non existent part before, it`s no biggie. *Big hug* Stay positive, and don`t let her opinion get you down. One day you`ll be out of there and live your life the way you want to, try to focus on that.
