I have been at a community college for nearly two years and I am preparing to transfer to a new college for the upcoming fall semester. I have decided what my major is which would be English and I plan on getting a teaching credential so I could become a high school teacher. I would like to think that I am a good writer, reader, and anything else that has to do with English but I am self conscious about the work I produce which makes me feel as if I am not good enough to become a teacher or major in English. I have friends and classmates who aren't even English majors that produced better work than me which makes me feel as if my work is mediocre. I understand that practice and hard-work will help me improve but at this point I feel too discouraged to do anything. I received an A for my college English 1A course which felt reassuring and after having talked to my professor he told me I was one of the few people who did received an A and yet I still doubt my potential. I have no clue what is wrong with me.. I guess I am used to always self loathing. What is wrong with me?
That's your answer. I can relate to not being able to judge how good your writing is. I tend to vacillate between thinking I'm an awesome writer and thinking I suck at writing, based more on my mood than the actual quality of the stuff I write.
By whose opinion is their work better than yours? Because if it's your own opinion and you think you struggle with self-loathing, it might not be terribly accurate. All I can suggest for you right now is "Fake it till you make it." Good grades are awesome, but as long as you have good work ethic and confidence in your creations, you'll do great in school and beyond.
Hi funnygrump, would you consider yourself a perfectionist?..sometimes when we (as people) are interested in something, we want to excel at it right from the start, and when we don't we can be extremely hard on ourselves. Congrats on getting an A~! you deserved it, especially if your professor personally acknowledged you. There is nothing wrong with you. I repeat, nothing. I also, really liked writing in highschool (mostly poetry) and now in university im taking classes to become a journalist. i'm not top tier, and sometimes i get discouraged as well, but i want you to know that from your message you seem passionate about your craft and wanting to become a highschool teacher sounds wonderful! Please don't doubt yourself. keep trying. and have fun at your new university
So like people are saying you have the skills to be something, in this case a teacher, but you don’t entirely feel the same way? It's a confidence thing. For example: People have been after me to become a certified instructor. I was fully on board thinking it is awesome, but then I started thinking about how great everyone else is at teaching and got myself convinced that I can’t get the students engaged as well and that my teaching skills suck. But my "A" is that I have always helped teach and done spectacular, leading to people saying I need to teach. Once I started teaching I realized I am skilled and do know what I am doing. I still get nervous sometimes, but I forget about how much better I think others are than me and focus on my tasks at hand. I critique myself to see if I can improve and keep in mind everyone has a different style. We don’t always know what we are capable of until we have tried. Sometimes even tried and tried again. If it's your passion you'll know. Personally, I think fear of new things/fear of "failure" is common. It's not failure. Everyone can always find something about their work that they want to improve. Best of luck!
