1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Need Life Advise!

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by rancidheart, May 1, 2013.

  1. rancidheart

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 1, 2013
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    SoCal
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Hello Everybody!

    Let me start off by saying that this site has helped me over the years in very dark periods of my life. I want to thank all who congregate and leave great wisdom. I have never posted and decided to change that.

    I had been battling with myself for a few years about my attraction with men and gals, i'm happy to say I accept that one day hopefully I will have a loving husband! I feel happy when I think of the thought of waking up next to the man of my dreams, going on vacations with him, and spending time cuddling...

    The problem I have is now I want to start dating, I just don't know were to start to look for the right man. I consider myself an Adrenaline junkie that is submissive. So I am trying to find a man who is very adventurous, is more dominate then me and who likes to do things to make the heart pound like motorcycling, skateboarding, skydiving, etc...
    How do I try to find my prince charming?

    also

    So I have come out to myself and feel everyday is a little better and might be a little easier to come out to others, At the same time I kind of don't care anymore about telling people. It is not that important to me, but it would be nice to let my good friends and family know.

    Has anyone felt like this? Advise and personal experiences would be very helpful!

    Thanks
     
  2. AKTodd

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2013
    Messages:
    3,190
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Norfolk, VA
    I'd suggest checking out the Meetup website. You list your location as Southern California, which is rather a large area, so as a test I just went to the website and had it pull meetup groups within 50 miles of LA. I got 64 hits.

    Now obviously, not all these groups (or even a majority) are going to be adventurous and some may or may not be LGBT, but I did see a group for parkour, for street biking, and for race car enthusiasts. You'd need to run a search on your local area(s) to see what might interest you.

    There's also this group:

    Rainbow Boogie :: Gay Friendly Skydiving Event :: Aug. 31 - Sep 3, 2012

    which may or may not still be active, but might have members in your area or be able to direct you toward groups in your area.

    A quick google of 'gay motorcycle clubs, California' turns up a number of listings, including this site:

    Gay and Lesbian Motorcycle Clubs - www.riderclubs.com

    which seems to aggregate info on a number of LGBT groups around the country.

    Etc. Mainly it would seem to be a matter of doing some online research and maybe sending out some emails or making some calls to find groups of folks who share your interests and orientation. The dominant/submissive thing may be something that requires getting to know some folks more personally, but the above should get you started.

    Beyond that, you might look into some of the more reputable dating sites (not hookup sites) and simply be honest about what you want, much as you've written it here. Given the sheer size of the population in SoCal, it seems statistically probable that there are some dominant adrenaline junkies who like guys out there somewhere. Maybe even a fair number who are looking for a sub...you could end up being spoilt for choice before you're done:slight_smile:

    Re the second part of your post, I'm afraid I can't be as helpful. Presuming that your good friends and family are not a really huge number of people you could potentially work through coming out to them at a comfortable pace and then take a break for a bit if you feel a need to. Or take the approach of 'if anyone asks, I'll answer honestly' and then go on about your business.

    Hope this helps,

    Todd
     
  3. rancidheart

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 1, 2013
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    SoCal
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Thank you for your help, I have started looking up some lgbt motorcycle groups. I plan on trying to attend one I found that meet a few times a month. At least there will be people with the same interests there that I can talk to and meet up with hopefully.

    I have another question for advise, I kind of met this very hot guy but don't really know if he sees me the same way. I am kind of very shy but I think he can tell im attracted to him. I work in a warehouse and had to go to the neighbors accross the alleyway to get something. There he was siting there, right when I saw him I just blushed and stumbled for words. Finally getting out what I needed to say for business sake. We both kinda of stared at each other for a moment though, he made me smile as well ( he is very Hot). Then a few days later we bump into each other again, this time he introduces himself to me ( I know I was so dumbfounded when I first saw him I didn't tell him my name) I shake his hand and blush and put on a big smile again ( im very shy). I see him a few times everyonce and a while, but today, he says to have a good weekend brother, all I can say is have a good weekend too. He only talks to me of all the other people I work with and none of them even know his name or any other info.

    So what Im wondering is if you think im thinking to much about this and what I should do next? Next time I bump into him I kind of want to have a longer conversation with him and see if he is interested in me. I just am very shy and get very tounge tied when I see him. It seems like he is interested in me, but I don't know if he knows i am gay.

    Were I work is very homophobic, aka gay bashing happens as normal conversation. I always defend lgbt rights and such, but they just think im very liberal. I don't really want to come out in that environment so that is why I think this is a lot more complicated then It should be.

    What are ways I can show im interested in him without showing the rest of the workforce Im gay?


    And thank you Todd for your helpful post!