Confused and in love with my straight best friend

Sorry for a delayed response. Don`t get discouraged by this.

You could be pansexual? Have you looked it up, to see if it might fit how you feel? Sexuality can take some time to figure out, and you`re still in high school, so no wonder you`re haven`t figured it out yet. Give it some time and experiences, and it will fall in place.

Falling in love with straight friends can be a nightmare. I think you might want to consider getting some distance between you two. Not saying you need to break up the friendship, just make sure you both hang with other people as well, get some time and breath between you. Because if she`s straight, then you can`t have her, and take it from someone who`s been there; loving someone you can`t have can really break you down. So, if you want to keep your friendship, then getting some space and breath to work away those emotions will be very helpful. Try your best to notice other people, get to know other people and get your emotions directed elsewhere. Romantic fantasies about other people, fictive characters can help too. Whatever distracts you from how you feel about your friend.

And hang on in there!
*hugs*

 

I think I had a best friend in high school that may have been going through the same thing in high school... While I was really struggling, and staying as far away as possible from her, I think she was longing to be with me and be close to me... She asked me if she could kiss me one time, 'because she was curious' (I was 'anti-gay' at the time... As in, I hated me, for being me. However, I was kind of in the same position too, not so much longing to be with her, but just really attracted to her, and kind of in love with her... But I NEVER would have admitted that- she still doesn't know that I might be on the lady lovin side, we stopped hanging out when she broke my heart for other reasons).
Here's my advice: Think about it. Think long and hard about it. Maybe if you gals are as in sync as you think, she might already sort of know. Subconciousley...
I think you should maybe tell her that you might like girls? Instead of approaching her with your love... That's a big thing to lay on the table.
If I were you, I'd tell her something a little lower on the totem pole first...
BUT: If you are confident enough, and ready to tell her... I say go for it!
If you need to talk about it, there are plenty of people here that can relate to it, I'm sure. Including myself.
Just relax, and don't stress about it.
*hugs*

 

First off. If you have friends you know will except it, than don't hesitate to tell them. You need people who are there for you to talk to. If it's a phase or you're just bi curious, there is nothing wrong with that. We all go through times in our lives where we wonder, and you will need to figure this out and that will be a little easier with the help of those who know and love you.

Second. Been there, done that. I had a similar problem a couple years back. My best friend and after awhile I knew I was falling for her. Of course, my luck, she was straight. I didn't know what to do. We were basically inseperable, and it was hard because I cared so deeply about her. I eventually told her I was gay and of course that didn't phase her, i did however leave out the part about me falling in love with her and how much she truly meant to me. Like you said, she started dating again and it was really hard watching her go out with these guys when I felt the way I did. Anyway, I started wondering that question that goes through everyone's head eventually and that was what if? What if I was wrong, and there was a chance? I thought about how strong our friendship was, and tried to decide if it could withstand something like this. (You know, if she felt the same way wonderful! If not... Could our friendship handler her finding that her best friend loved her would affect it?) Anyway... It took me a long time, and finally I made the decision to tell her. It was hard, and a long conversation, I ended up bawling saying I just wanted her to know, incase there was any chance but I didn't want to ruin what we did have if there wasn't. Unfortunately she did not feel the same, but she was glad I told her. I think it made us closer, I trusted her enough to tell her, and she trusted me enough to continue being as close to me as we were before. Somedays it was still hard, but I was glad she knew. It made it easier on me knowing I wouldn't be stuck wondering What if there had been a chance? You can't go through life wondering those questions. If she's your best friend, and knows you well? Honestly she probably already at least has an idea. Mine did. Think about it. Like anything else, it's nice to have someone to talk to, and it's great to know you have someone there you can literally tell ANYTHING to.

Sorry this was so long!

 

Fell for my best friend freshman year of college. Told her about my feelings and we have been friends for 30 years. Back then it was worse to be a lesbian than gay male. Made excuses for my feelings. Never labeled myself or did questioning because in my world it was not an option. I am so impressed by all the younger EC folks who are so brave at acknowledging and exploring who they are at a young age. Hugs

 

I'm sorry this kind of thing happened to you hun! Trust me on this though it's better to know that you can't have someone. I dated a girl for a few years before coming out as trans* to her, after all her saying she'd care about me no matter what and saying she was bisexual; after all that the first thing she said was, I don't want a girlfriend. Then we went on a break and she started seeing someone else almost immediately. It was devastating. I know it sucks to truly love someone to death and know that you can't have them, but it's better to not have a type of romantic memory of that person and I know it's hard to get around but it makes things a lot easier... and you get to keep a really close friend and trust me it's much better to keep them as a friend than to have them as a lover and risk losing them because a good friend is forever.

 

my problem is similar. The only difference is that im a middle schooler, so i have no way of knowing if their gay or bi (since they could have not found out or excepted it). plus my best friend dosent seem attracted to women, so fingers crossed there.
RIGHT YOU! Just surrond yourself with other friends when ur around her. You and her dont have as much a chance to connect when you have others to talk with. If you dont you may not be able to let go when she can.
I know that really sucks, but ultimatums usually do!