we've been together about six months, but have been friends for over 5 years. i met her and crushed on her but she was in a relationship that lasted the next five years. the person she was with was depressed, had an eating disorder, and got her into smoking pot. lots of it. probably most of the day everyday for about 3 years. she still smokes a lot to this day, although it's definately calmed down. it was always most of where our problems came from. i don't like that she does it so much and it was weighing our relationship down a lot.she has a lot of personal problems and i believe she is depressed. i decided to stop caring about the pot and back off a bit, because we almost broke up because of that and her problems that she felt she couldn't deal with everything and being in a relationship and being committed. we were able to talk things through but it's been about a month since that talk went on and everyday i feel like she could leave me. it's just made me a bit insecure, more than i already am. sometime she gets distant, i think with everything going on in her life. she struggles with money and she's constantly stressed. we haven't had sex for a couple weeks, and overall she seems really distant. little to no texts, when we're together we don't talk much, and i just feel like she's not there a lot of the time. with the way i'm speaking it sounds crazy that i'm even dealing with this, but believe it or not i actually really love her a lot. ever since i was 15 and saw her for the first time. she makes me really happy, when things are good anyway. when they're not i'm just a constant worry. when we first got together she was really happy and always said how happy i made her, but with time she now sees that as me being a distraction to her problems then her actually being happy. i'm just trying to give her her space and let her come to me. i'm trying not to worry but i can't help it. anything i can do? any advice on being in a relationship with someone who is depressed, an addict, and distant? thanks in advance.
I would perhaps look up some resources (perhaps support groups and counselling) for her and gently suggest them the next time you two are together. It seems like she's facing a lot of inner turmoil, most of which she has to sort out for herself. It's hard, but I'd say all you can really do is check up on her, ask about her, and be there for her when she needs you.
