This summer I will be a residential counselor for a summer workshop/camp. I found out that we are expected to swim. Although I've had top surgery, the fact that I'm so short (5'2) means I cannot swim. I wear elevator shoes on a daily basis to make me appear ~5'5 or 5'6 and I CANNOT go barefoot. I'm fine with water activities, but actually going into a pool or lake or whatever would kill me with anxiety and all sorts of terrible things and I just can't. I've searched online for swim shoes that elevate you a few inches but they don't exist and they would look really weird anyway. How do I get out of this? Do I email the head of the camp saying that although I'm fine with out-of-pool water activities, I have some personal issues preventing me from actually swimming? Do I just tell them I can't swim and therefore will need to be assigned to something else during their swim times? I am also partially an "activity assistant" meaning there are times I'll be away from my cabin instructing kids on whatever they assign me to, so maybe I can request that be during my cabin's swim times? I'm not sure how to go about this without seeming needy or unqualified. I just know that I can't swim this summer. What do I do? I am not looking for people to tell me to "suck it up" or "grin and bear it", I am looking for ways to get out of swimming for the summer.
Send the email, by all means. Explain that you have anxiety issues concerning water and you'd much prefer to be assigned to something that doesn't involve water. I'm sure at a summer camp, they're used to water based anxieties and such.
If you are too short to swim, just tell them that. You may also say that you have a medical condition preventing you from swimming... so I don't think thay legally cat ask you what it is.
You're physically incapable of swimming, or you just don't want to go barefoot because you think you will look too short? I don't know why FtMs get so hung up on height, not every guy is 6 ft tall...my stepfather is 5'2" according to his driver license, personally I doubt he's even that tall, but I don't think anyone's ever questioned his gender because of that...while guys are on average taller than girls, there are plenty of short guys and tall girls. There seems to be some underlying implication here that short guys somehow aren't real men. If you've already done all the surgery and regularly live, dress, and act as a male, then why not just try to become comfortable in who you are, maybe seek out a counselor or therapist? Height doesn't really have anything to do with gender. While there are surgeries that can increase height, they are expensive and dangerous (they can leave you paralyzed), they break your legs and leave you incapacitated for months, and in the end you can only gain at most 2-3 inches of height. A short cis guy who always walked around wearing elevator shoes to appear taller would just be seen as insecure and pretending to be something he is not, I don't think it's different for a trans guy. You can either be seen as just an ordinary guy who happens to be short, but otherwise is comfortable in who he is...or as someone who is spending their entire life consumed with anxiety trying to be someone they're not. You're far more likely to be thought of as a trans person rather than just being thought of as one of the guys if you're always wearing elevator shoes and are afraid to go swimming because you're fearful that people will think you're a girl because of your height. These are not normal thoughts or behaviors of a guy, no matter how short he is. I would really suggest you seek out a good therapist to help you get over your anxieties about something that A) You cannot change. B) Doesn't really have anything to do with gender. Otherwise you'll never get to a place where you're really comfortable with who you are.
Unfortunately, no matter what you say or do, there is, I think, a risk that you'll appear unqualified. Right now, I guess I'd go with a line about personal issues swimming, and you do not feel you can swim, and do your job effectively/professionally. You could try various excuses, like citing medical problems, but be careful, because they could backfire. A lot hinges on whoever is in charge. If the person knows swimming, and is lacking in compassion, you could be in deep doo-doo. To cite one small example: let's say you come to me out of the blue, and tell me you can't swim, because you have a shoulder injury. You need your arms when swimming! That sounds reasonable, right? Guess again. You'd be surprised at how much a good swimmer can do without his or her arms. If I had a shoulder injury, and fell into deep water a few from the wall, I'd have no problem getting back to the wall on my own, and I'm far from being a real swimmer. I've also seen competitive divers who don't swim while practicing--they hit bottom, and push off at the right angle to surface right by the pool wall. Obviously, you aren't going to force someone with an arm injury to actually swim. And if actual swimming is planned, then a shoulder injury would probably get one excused. But...a lot of swimming recreationally is more along the lines of splashing around the shallow end. And if that's the case at this camp, they might well say, "Well, you can't swim with your injury. But that's OK! We'd like someone in the shallow end to stay with the people who aren't very strong swimmers." Say you can't swim? You might get terminated on safety grounds. Or told to hop in the shallow end with the other nonswimmers. Chlorine harming skin sounds plausible to me. But that won't fly if swimming in a lake is an option. Or if they don't use chlorine in the swimming pool. ---------- Post added 14th May 2013 at 01:32 PM ---------- This is not swimming related. However, this occurred to me, and it might be something you should be aware of and consider. I believe many camps use some sort of group showers (high school locker room style, with zero privacy).
Yeah, I think I will go with the anxiety thing.. I'll say that I have some personal issues regarding swimming and would strongly prefer to be involved in some other activity during that time, or whatever. After all, my job won't require me to be around the same group of kids all the time so they'll probably be able to juggle me around somehow. Yeahhh you gave a solution to an entirely different problem than the one I'm having, after specifically warning against such.
Coming from a tall guy here, the only people who get made fun of for being short are the guys who try to act like beefy tough guys. Being a badass doesn't make you visually intimidating if you're short. But other than that, your worries are misplaced. Personally, I'd think kids would be drawn to a shorter counselor, because you'd be much more approachable. So don't worry. If worrying is a must though, you are totally within your rights to request non-swimming related tasks.
