So, I know there's a stereotype of older gay men preying on young boys, and when I came out I thought it was just some silly thing. But honestly, every gay male I've met has been triple my age and has come on to me really strong and repeatively, even when I asked them politely (and not so politely), to leave me alone. Now granted, I live in a really contained community, in a very small state where opportunities to meet people my own age are few and far between. Let alone someone my age who's gay. So I kinda expected Id met people older then me. But I didn't think they'd hound me so damn much. I've been out for awhile, but I still feel like the only gay guy where I live. All I'm looking for is someone I can hang out with and sorta swap stories with. And I'd be down for that regardless of age, but the only people I seem to find are obsessed with sex, and I'm not ready for that (I feel kinda stupid saying it, but it's true). So am I just a special case, or is there some truth to the stereotype?
If anything, there's nothing wrong with you, and you are not alone. It's not unusual for older gay guys to look for younger gays though, much like straight guys do with younger females for that matter. The only difference is that the latter usually have a wife to answer to at the end of the night. :lol: Some young gay guys are into older males, so that may contribute to having more older males aiming for younger gays too. Just keep refusing if you're not comfortable with it, nothing wrong with not being ready for sex (let alone with an older guy).
See, I guess I just thought this was a fact. I think it changes - sometimes it's older men, and sometimes it's just unsavory men. I also live in a very small community. What tends to happen is that people really follow the "oh my god, you're gay, and my friend is gay...so you obviously must become lovers!" I personally think it's just part of the territory. You're out - so people pick up on that, no matter what age they are. You're 19 and in a small community, so maybe there's really not a lot of others out there like you.
Being single durring mid-life was strange to say the least. Before Mike I tried internet dating and it was so strange in that most guys who answered my add were 18 to 26 and one 15yo and one 16yo. I never met any of them because June cuts it at 30yo being the youngest age that I am intrested in. I will overlook age if the guy warrents it. Like the 24yo last month who was chasing me completely infatuated with me, being a total horn dog! and I am 40 nearly twice his age. June
Sadly, your experience is the rule rather than the exception. I would say that every teen and early-20s gay guy I know has been hit on by older guys. Sometimes really creepy ones, sometimes not. And a lot of them aren't the least bit subtle, and don't easily take no for an answer. That is unfortunately why many gay teens/young adults simply won't talk to or respond to older gay men at all... because it seems that most or nearly all of them, even if they cultivate a friendship first, eventually end up trying to make it sexual. And that's sad.
