Asking someone if they're gay?!? How am I supposed to do that?

It isn´t if you ask it at the right time in the right way.


You could just talk about dating and ask if the person dates girls, boys (women, men) or both, and ask it in a way as if you are asking which icecream taste the person likes. It´s highy unlikely they get offended by that.

 

I've asked a good number of guys this question. No one has ever been remotely offended, and I never got in anything near a fistfight because of it. Around here, the guys are usually flattered that someone is into them, even if it's someone they can't reciprocate the interest for.

How do you do it? "Hey, do you date guys, by any chance?" is usually how I ask.

 

With women I tend to ask question that would let me know they bat for my team for instance if someone is talking to me things like what tv shows I watch (greys anatomy , glee , pretty little lairs) and the fact I go out on gay nights kind of give away my sexuality.

 

our society has problems.
you can't ask people if they're gay or any sexuality other than straight because right away they get offended. No one ever asks me about my sexuality because i don't "look" gay, but what does that even mean? everyone just looks the way they look.
People reactions make it hard to ask but you really can't know for sure by just assuming.
Asking is really the only sure fire way of knowing.
You could try anonymously asking, like by writing them a note and telling them to leave their response in a certain place?

 

From personal experience I do find it offensive when people ask. But that's because I've been so insecure about being so transparent even though I'm pretty much out I do still have issues with people assuming.

But on they polar opposite I can feel like "omfg thank you for bringing it up instead of me"

I'm in a similar situation. One of my best friends claims to be straight and I personally believe him but he is a hot single and effeminate guy so people tell me they think he's gay.

My advice is open the door for them a d if they don't walk through they either will never because they're straight or they're just not ready yet to walk Through.

 

If you aren't comfortable asking them directly, you could try coming out to them and seeing if they say, "Oh, me too!"

 

I usually don't mind if someone flat out asks me. In my area, a way to "beat around the bush" is to ask if someone "is family".

 

Hint at it or ask them questions like "what do you think about gay people" if he topic comes up. the persons response can reveal a lot if you pay attention to the way they answer the question.

 

My way of asking is somewhat a little different.

I blunt these words,"I heard you are gay!" *gives shocking face* then laugh. They would answer me like,"No, I am not where did you hear that?" and I would answer,"HAHAHA! I made that up." with a very loud,"HAHAHA"

or this,

"Hey! I saw you dating a woman!(I asked a close girl friend)" - some would answer me,"How did you know?" or otherwise. Then I'll tell them that I just made it up.

Just do it in a light way so that the person will not be offended with your question. Do it in the right time. Right timing is the answer.