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I want to be anyone BUT myself. I just want to complain to someone!

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Sully, May 21, 2013.

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  1. Sully

    Sully
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    Before you read this, it is just me having a whine, because it's nice to every now and then :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    At the crux of it, I think I've just been really dysphoric lately, and I'm sure it's mostly to do with this whole sexuality/coming out thing. I want to be anyone BUT myself. I want better than me. I want to be a Harvard student, with money and looks! I want to be famous! I want to be fit, and hot! I want to be someone who can come out to everyone! I want to be someone who can have a boyfriend!

    The worst part is, that, when I think about it, I'm probably capable of getting most of these things (maybe not Harvard or famous...). I could get fit, I could come out, I could be successful at university, I could fall in love with someone. Why don't I have the drive too? I complain about this sort of stuff, but in reality my life is practically perfect.

    I just want to come out. AND I CAN! Deep down, somewhere inside me, I guess I can. I need to.

    [YOUTUBE]Space They Cannot Touch - YouTube[/YOUTUBE]
     
    #1 Sully, May 21, 2013
  2. Dublin Boy

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    Coming out to yourself is the hardest thing, coming out to family is the 2nd hardest part, this is something I will eventually do & so will you Dude :slight_smile:
     
    #2 Dublin Boy, May 22, 2013
  3. PurpleRain

    PurpleRain
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    You can complain to meeeee! If you want to I mean. I like listening to people and helping where I can. (*hug*)
     
    #3 PurpleRain, May 22, 2013
  4. Sully

    Sully
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    Thanks. I think I'm a bit put off because I was expecting coming out to really not be nerve wracking. I was wrong.
     
    #4 Sully, May 22, 2013
  5. Hefiel

    Hefiel
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    Coming out can be pretty nerve-wracking at first, and even for the first few days after coming out there may still be some level of anxiety, but after that life is generally much easier and positive (provided that your coming out went well of course).
     
    #5 Hefiel, May 22, 2013
  6. Sully

    Sully
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    I thought mainly that after the first few people there wouldn't be that back and forth of 'I'm going to tell them! NO I'M NOT! Yes I will'.

    That. Is me right now about my sister!
     
    #6 Sully, May 22, 2013
  7. Hefiel

    Hefiel
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    Still have some worries attached to your sexuality, fears of being rejected or, if you haven't come out to your parents yet, that they'd find out through your sister?
     
    #7 Hefiel, May 22, 2013
  8. Sully

    Sully
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    Not that I can recognise. I know my immediate family won't care (I'll say 99% sure). And I know my sister wouldn't say anything. There's really no reason not to. So I can't understand where all the worry is coming from. One second I will be ready to do it, I'll open Facebook (that's how I feel comfortable telling my sister at the moment), and then all desire just drains the second I see her name! Survival instincts kicking in!
     
    #8 Sully, May 22, 2013
  9. Hefiel

    Hefiel
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    I was a bit like this when I came out to my parents. Took me 3 days to tell them. The second day there was an unwanted guest and that pissed me off, so on the 3rd day I just said "Fuck it, today I'm not leaving until I've said it".

    Perhaps you'll need some of that "Fuck it" mentality. A few days after I came out, I just didn't care about it. Too bothersome to care about something so trivial now.
     
    #9 Hefiel, May 22, 2013
  10. Sully

    Sully
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    We'll see :slight_smile:
     
    #10 Sully, May 22, 2013
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